Yesterday I mentioned how we will probably be going back to Bangkok on Friday evening and how we hope to go to the zoo before then. Well like most of our plans neither of them have actually occurred as expected.

We decided not to visit the zoo. Yesterday we were riding on the heads of elephants and unless the zoo allows us to to do the same to their lions, giraffes and maybe even their penguins, we felt nothing would really compare.

*Pause while you imagine what it would be like riding around a zoo on a penguin’s head….ok.

So with that in mind we sort of thought we had done Chiang Mai now. There are many things we could do. We could visit the region of Chiang Rai and the Golden Triangle. We could go zip-wiring around the jungle. We could even go lay down next to some severely drugged up tigers. But none of those things really tickled our fancy. So to prevent ourselves from spending every penny we have in the night markets, we have decided it’s time to go back down south.

We spent our last full day lounging about in our favourite bars and taking our last few pics of the city. So not much has happened really today. Today does however mark the end of our very first week in Thailand and the trip as a whole. So we thought we would sum up some of the main things we have learnt so far. If you have been reading each day you will know how some of these lessons have been learnt.

1. Never trust a Tuk Tuk driver. Ever

2. Being pale as a ghost is actually a desired look out here.

3. Americans can be unbelievably annoying.

4. Not ALL Americans are unbelievably annoying.

5. The Chinese love a selfie.

6. If you can’t speak English (or Thai), you’re screwed.

7. Special one day only, “just for you sir” deals are not actually special one day only “just for you sir” deals.

8. Never trust an elephant.

9. Don’t be fooled by the pictures on hostel websites.

And the tenth thing we’ve learnt has actually happened midway through writing this. I was quietly lying on the bed typing away when Soph darts up and shouts “Look Ellsy, Look!”

I jolt up, and there on the wall, running up and down at the speed of light, was a gecko. A baby gecko. Quite a cute looking thing really. But bloody fast. He has run us ragged trying to catch him and chuck him out the door. Until he seemingly vanished and we gave up.

But that wasn’t the last of him. A pretty loud tap on the bathroom door was cause enough for both Soph and I to get out of bed and investigate. Soph, being the brave one of the two, opened the door before letting out a huge yelp! The gecko shot out and hid behind the wardrobe. Which hopefully is where he will stay. If he slips off the wall in the night and on to our bed, there will be screams. Like horrible, high pitched,  6 year old girl, not getting her way screams. Soph might even scream too. So…

10. It is impossible to catch a gecko.

The train journey is another long 13 hours of non WiFi assisted travel tomorrow. And this time there will be no air con either. So I will post again when we next get the chance. Until then.

Thanks for following x

Ok ok. Everyone relax. We are ok. We are still alive. Yesterday morning we checked out of our hostel and into a new one without finding out the WiFi codes. We had the shakes for a little bit today but the internet itch has now been well and truly scratched. Ahhh.

Bit of a long one today as it covers two days.

So as I just said we are no longer in our usual hostel. We have moved to within the city walls to a place with a much softer bed and our own bathroom. Fancy.

Yesterday we finally visited Doi Suthep on the third day of trying. We walked across the entire city to the north gate where these red pick up truck type taxi things wait to take groups up the mountain to the temple. We went up with a couple of Chinese and 3 boys from Italy (they were actually from Finland but I was trying to be clever in front of Soph earlier by saying “they were 100% Italian. I can recognise that accent anywhere”, and I don’t want her to know I was wrong. Again).

Once there we were given 90 minutes to walk up a ton of elaborate steps to the temple before the driver would leave. We had to make sure our shoulders were covered otherwise they wouldn’t let us in, so sadly we had to say goodbye to the vest for the afternoon.

Doi Suthep is the most famous of all the temples and is plastered all over tourist boards and leaflets around the city. And it is pretty cool to be fair. Like most temples in Thailand there is a hell of a lot of gold and quite the array of monks walking about, but the main reason people visit is for the view.

The temple hosts a view of the entire city of Chiang Mai. Something worth the 60 baht (£1.20) entrance fee alone. Not that we paid. We just snuck in with a tour group. Proper traveller like.

After realising we had probably enough photos of gold temples on the camera, we decided to head back to the taxi. Luckily for us the driver wasn’t quite ready for us yet so we grabbed a quick snack from one of the market stalls near by. Now when I say quick, I mean really quick. And when I say snack I mean….uhm….well I don’t know what I mean really. It was a creepy crawly of some description. Not nice. Not nice at all.

Before I move on I need to mention one other thing that happened on the steps down from the temple. I was standing there, minding my own business, waiting for Soph to finish taking photo of something. Probably a puppy. When 3 Asian girls stopped directly in front of me, giggled, took a photo of me on their phone and ran off. But not before looking at Soph and saying “he gorgeous”…….

Now one of two things has happened here. Either the word gorgeous means something totally different out here. Or, and more likely, the women out here know true beauty when they see it. I’ll probably be on some Thai advertising boarding by tomorrow. Probably.

With Doi Suthep ticked off the list it was time to start looking for our next adventure within Chiang Mai. There are so many excursions and trips to go on here. Every other shop is selling something, usually the same thing. But we plucked for one that looked half respectable and chose our next trip for the very next day.

So this morning we woke up early after our first really solid sleep this week to be ready for an 8:30am pick up from directly outside our hostel. We jumped in the back of another pick up truck and headed on a tour around the city, picking up a couple from Finland, an older lady from Canada and two girls from the States. Today we were going to ride elephants.

After a 2 hour journey into the jungle talking about how London has ‘so’ much history and a quick lesson on how a quid the pound are the same thing, we arrived at the elephant camp. Now it wasn’t a camp like you may expect. This was literally in the jungle. There were no staged shows where an abused elephant paints a picture for you or shoots a ball through a basketball hoop while being whipped to smithereens. Just native people with pet elephants.

We were taught how they eat a ridiculous amount of bananas and how they love a juicy bamboo leaf before heading over to try and ride the beasts for ourselves. It wasn’t too bad. We had 7 commandments which we had down to tee, and the 6 year old elephant was loving every second of it.

After lunch however, we would ride a much larger elephant who, for some reason, wasn’t as keen to have two people sitting on his head. The elephant, let’s call it Nelly, was more interested in all the leaves and sticks around than taking us in the direction we were instructing it too. I mean it lives in the jungle for Christ sake. It was acting like it had never seen a leaf before.

If we’re honest it was pretty scary stuff but awesome at the same time. We jumped into a lake with a waterfall and washed the elephants while they sprayed us with their trunks before heading back up to the car and going home.

It was a pretty good day although not particularly cheap. Cheaper than buying your own elephant though I guess. In fact if anybody hears of anything, we’re in the market.

Tomorrow we hope to visit Chiang Mai zoo. We think we will be up here until Friday before heading back to Bangkok and the rest of our stuff. I mean there are only a limited number of ways you can wear the same underwear before it gets a little too much.

Thanks for following x

Just a short one today. Mainly because not much happened. But for the sake of the diary/blog we shall jot a few of today’s events down.

The early start we mentioned yesterday unsurprisingly never happened. I fell asleep around 4am only for Soph to wake up around the same time. Then of course those lovely American girls got in on the act by sleeping through a ridiculously loud half 4 alarm. By the time morning actually came about we were in no shape to attempt Doi Suthep.

Instead we had breakfast and looked around for a couple of alternative hostels that we’d seen on the net. Anything but here would do. Soph decided it would be nice to go visit a small shop toward the night market that had a top in it she had been umming and ahhing over since we got here. Turns out she didn’t like it in the end…..

We have both expressed numerous times now how much we love Chiang Mai. The reason for Soph’s affection though may be a little different than mine. I like the atmosphere, the people, the whole place in general. Soph….she likes the abundance of puppies. Tiny dogs everywhere. The clothes shop had two miniature toy poodles with bows in their hair. Come to think of it that was probably the reason we kept going back. She never even liked that top!

By the time we had reached our favourite bar I was feeling ill. I mentioned yesterday that it was the hottest day ever. And it was. Until today. It was the type of heat where everyone just stops what they’re doing and says “you know what, screw it”. That’s usually about 15°c in the UK.

That didn’t stop us going temple hunting though. The old city of Chiang Mai has a temple around every corner. Some small, some bloody huge. Although not dressed appropriately (you may have noticed in our pictures from today that Soph has forced me into a vest…) we were able to cover up with some robes before entering the temple bare foot. I’ll be honest, not the foggiest what is going on them, but they’re nice to look at all the same.

By the time we had left the grounds of the largest inner city temple the roads had transformed. It was the Sunday Walking Market and we where right in the middle of it. Unlike the knock off merchandise market that occurs daily, this Sunday market represents everything that is Thailand. Hundreds of street food vendors, jewellery makers, glass makers, clothes…makers. It was the sort of place Mums would spend a fortune in.

After making our way back through the literally hundreds of thousands of people, we decided to just head back and grab some sleep. On the way up to our room we even managed to actually meet the two American girls face to face for the first time. Nice little chat about how they had ‘travelled‘ London. They have got lots to do tomorrow so they’re heading to bed for an early night. We’ve just stuck the tunes on full blast. Nobody is going to sleep tonight love….

Thanks for following x

Last night was pretty awful. Obviously it could be worse. We are in Thailand, we don’t have to get up and go to work and we had just witnessed one of the most memorable events we will probably ever be lucky enough to be apart of. When it comes to sleep however, last night was really pretty awful.

I’ve already mentioned the hardness of the bed. You can probably picture an old, tough as old boots mattress with over used springs. Think concrete. You’d be much closer.

Around 4am we managed to fall asleep. At 4:05 two American girls came back to sleep in the tents that were outside our bedroom door. Oh…My…Gaaad! 100 times. No lie.
“Like OMG I love our lives. They are literally soooo funny”…

Nobody is laughing love.

Having listened to the vast number of apparently hilarious goings on from their night out, we got to sleep. Only to be woken up by the same girls a couple of hours later screaming about the guys they could of had the night before. Could of had being the appropriate phrase.

Anyway, at some point we actually did fall asleep. Annoyingly however we then didn’t wake up until just before midday, so any plans for the day had to be pushed back. Not that we had any plans but we felt the need to blame the American girls for our misfortune.

We used the day to laze about. Chill out. Kotch if you will. We had a walk around the city wall and found where the night market would be taking place this evening. We sat in a small park and melted in the 40°c heat for a while. Nobody can tell me days can get hotter than today. It was silly.

Eventually we found ourselves at a bar just inside the wall of the old town. We had a cheeky bottle of Chang and a Coke float each and sat down for some serious people watching. This swift drink soon turned into multiple cheeky Chang’s and coke floats. So much so that it had gone dark and we hadn’t even realised.

At 6pm we decided to order some dinner. Soph plucked for a pork noodle soup while I stuck to the old faithful green Thai curry. Now at home, when choosing a curry off the menu or in the supermarket I am more than happy with the strength of the curry being represented by three small chilli graphics next it’s name. Meh…

If you ever visit Thailand you need to be sure to multiply the chilli number by TEN. This curry was hotter than the sun. It had so much spice to it I was starting to hallucinate. I was in bad way. Soph however was happily slurping away at her noodle soup.

After a slow recovery we headed for the famous Chiang Mai night market. It is huge. Clothes, watches, shows, bags, tons of Beats headphones. They have the lot here. It’s amazing how nice the stall owners are too. Always offering a special price just for you…..

As a guy shopping with a girl on holiday it is truly fascinating how many people we have to buy presents for. I’m not sure there is anyone we have ever met that isn’t getting a little something from us. So enjoy. Think of us starving in our rock hard hostel bed when you receive your we’ll earned gift…

After the market adventure we headed back to a little bar for another Chang and some live music. There is so much talent here going totally unnoticed. The guitarist at the bar was insane. Yet nobody was even acknowledging him other than us and a drunk Frenchman. Such a shame.

So now we are back at the hostel for our 2nd night of the 3 we had prebooked. Hoping to visit Doi Suthep temple tomorrow so looking to get up early. Hope you all have a great weekend.

Thanks for following.

We arrived at Chiang Mai train station at around 8am. The weather outside was looking a little ropey so we hoodied up before getting off. That was of course pointless as it was about 30°c outside and we were melting the second we stepped foot on the platform.

No surprise there were about 50 Tuk Tuk drivers ready to jump us as we walked to the station exit. Just on principle I (Ells) was up for walking to town. These Tuk Tuk drivers can’t control me. Unfortunately that manly stance lasted no more than 30 seconds before Soph put her foot down and we were riding in the back of some makeshift pick-up truck/taxi thingy.

Now the first thing you notice when walking around Chiang Mai is that it is not in any way Bangkok. It is more organised,  more civilised and a lot less…Thai, than Bangkok. There are non Asians everywhere. Tuk Tuk drivers actually take no for an answer. Even roads are physically possible to cross without putting one’s life at risk. It seemed to be setting up to be a very nice day.

After grabbing a well deserved man sized breakfast we checked in to our hostel. Being the organised and sensible travellers we are, we had booked this in advance to make sure we were close to the town and didn’t pay over the odds. Unfortunately this really is a case of ‘you get what you pay for’. Our room has a little fan and a draw that we can lock. It has walls and a ceiling too. Which is nice….

But the bed. My God. The bed would be more comfortable if it was made out of pure stone, sitting on a foundation of cast iron while being vibrated between two diamond plates. Basically it’s bloody hard. It could be worse…but not much worse. It was full of other backpackers too. Something we don’t mind of course. We just weren’t in the mood to make friends. I say that. I wouldn’t be surprised if I woke up tomorrow to find Soph downstairs organising some sort group field trip for everyone. I however am more than happy to put on a German accent and pretend I understand nothing they’re saying. Ya. Zehr Gut.

After falling asleep and showering under a water source that must have been fed directly from Antarctica, we headed back into town for the Loi Krathong festival celebrations. Now for those who don’t know, Krathong can be translated as ‘to float’. It is a festival where people wash away their bad thoughts, feelings and luck down the river on floating banana leaf baskets, or into space through sky lanterns that fill up the sky.

Now we knew this would be good. But to see it in person was simply amazing. The skyline was filled with lanterns floating high into the darkness. A seemingly man made star cluster that moved across the backdrop of space. It really was a sight to behold. Something no number of photo attempts could truly capture. And we really did try.

We had a go. A poor one. A group of Thai…kids, basically, had to come over and try to help us get our lantern into the sky. We walked toward where the majority of lanterns were rising from and found 1000s upon 1000s of people trying to light their own. They were going everywhere. Into the decorations, into the telephone wires, into people. Yet nobody cared. Food was of course aplenty, with stalls popping up all along the bridges and main roads. If you were hungry you were definitely in the right place.

Leaving the UK on 4th November we thought we had missed fireworks for this year. However during Loi Krathong they are out in force. Kids..no..BABIES, were throwing live fireworks into the street. Watching innocent bystanders attempt to duck out the way of the explosions. It was mental.

We grabbed some street food before heading to a bar just outside the city wall for a cheeky beer. It was late, yet people were still setting off lanterns and pushing away banana leaf boats down the river like the festival had just begun. It was one of those moments you will never forget. We even had time to see an American woman fall over and graze her knee right on front us. It was a good day.

Tomorrow…We don’t know. But you can’t get lost if you don’t care where you are.

Til then x

Last night we slept for possibly 2 hours in our comfortable Bangkok hostel bed. It just wasn’t happening for us. The fact we had a nap the second we got in didn’t help much but neither did the alarm that sounds just outside our window all night. Like ALL NIGHT!

Tired, starving and a little peeved that our one and only plug adaptor had just blown up from using the hairdryer, we went downstairs to hand in our key, get some lunch and ask if we could store our big bags for a few days in the hostel lock up. Today is the train journey up to Chiang Mai. We need to meet some random holding a sign and do the deal which sees him gain 300 baht and us two train tickets.

People are friendly in Thailand. All smiling and happy to help where they can, even if they know they can’t. This friendliness however can be all a little too good to be true. One man, innocently walking next to us started to tell us where to walk to see the best of the city.

How lovely.

He told us where to go and what to see and how much it would be if we wanted a Tuk Tuk to take us.

Ahhh.

But then, like magic one appeared, hollering at us to get in. We declined, many times, and walked away. This super sly commission hungry salesman was clever, but not the only one. It happened again two minutes later when another random pretended to take an interest in us before seemingly plucking a Tuk Tuk from behind his ear. They are very persistent.

When we finally decided we would jump in one we did it on our own terms. Negotiated a good price and told the driver exactly where to go.

This helped none!

Everyone must be on commission here because instead of our desired destination of China Town, we found ourselves at a tailored suit shop being sat down in their back room for a personal fitting. It was hotter than the devil’s sauna outside and neither of us could think of anything worse to stroll around town in than a three piece suit. So we hot footed it out of there, told the driver to behave himself and got to China Town.

After strolling around for 10 minutes and declining the offers of 20 or so Tuk Tuk drivers, we turned on to a very familiar road. The one road we started the morning on. Our hostel road. In fact we had just taken a Tuk Tuk no less than 100 meters but with a 5 mile round trip. We will be walking a little more from now on.

We headed to the station around 5pm to meet the anonymous ticket delivery man. To get there we had to cross that deadly road I mentioned yesterday. A non Asian couple (we stick out like a sore thumb here) managed to get across successfully in one smooth run. It was impressive. So much so we clapped them as they made it to our side. Feeling confident we then took the same approach. It worked. We were even given a thumbs up and a congratulatory head nod by another non Asian couple eyeing up their chance to cross. We are proper travellers now.

At the station we used our first public toilets in Thailand. We had to pay which was ok, it was only 2 baht (maybe 4p). But we made that old classic mistake of expecting toilet paper to be included in the price. How silly of us. That was of course extra.

We then went for our tickets. We expected a tall dark gentlemen with black glasses and a long black coat and briefcase to be waiting in the shadows somewhere. In fact it was nothing like that at all. The deal went down smoothly and we were on our way.

The train is made up of 20 or so carriages all of different classes. Some had private rooms, some were just simple benches, and some, like ours, were benches that turned in to beds. They’re actually rather nice. I write this lying on the bed now after the train conductor person came and fitted it up. Soph is asleep of course but there is a moth flying around her head. So for everyone’s sake it’s best she stays that way….

It’s the annual festival of Loi Krathong tonight so the view outside is like something out of Harry Potter. Scattered with floating lanterns across the sky and fireworks going off in the distance. Someone had even thought it a great idea to leave some fireworks on the tracks ready for us to pass by. The journey is about 13 hours long so it’s good to have something to take our mind of it.

I’ve no idea when we will get the chance to post this as there is no WiFi on the train and we won’t be in Chiang Mai for sometime. Sure we will have come across much more by then.

Thanks for following x

So we are finally here. Thailand. I write this sitting on our bed watching some sort of Thai soap on the tv while Soph enjoys her first shower of our trip. I’m surprisingly engrossed in the soap already.

So what are our first impressions of Bangkok? Well it’s hot, very busy, really quite hot, there are no right of ways when driving…at all, oh and it’s bloody hot. The humidity as you walk through the automatic doors of the airport and on to the streets of Bangkok is enough to knock you off your feet. It’s certainly not a bright summer’s day either. 33°c and raining.

After totally messing up our ‘visa on arrival’ forms (Ells) we just about managed to find our way to the airport taxi rank queue. More like a set up at the meat counter at the butchers, we waited for our number and found the man who we had already expected would try to rip us off. After asking for the train station we noticed he had covered up the meter so we couldn’t see the price. Now, as I said, we thought this would happen. But instead of listening to all the advice we had been given on how not to be taken for all you’ve got by a taxi driver, we just sat there. In silence.

The traffic here is crazy. We arrived during Bangkok rush hour which obviously didn’t help. Nobody is afraid to cut you up here. Diving in to lanes with fast speeding traffic coming up behind is nothing to these people. How we didn’t see a full on motorway pile up we’ll never know.

Yet these crazy drivers are not enough to stop you noticing the huge divide between the rich and the poor here. Homes that can only be truly described as mud huts were visible all along the motorways. Hiding in the shadows of the bright lights from the city sky scrapers and tourist spots.

Having totally forgotten the name of our booked hostel we were dropped off outside the city train station as we knew it was opposite. I was worried the driver was about to ask for over the 6000baht that I had on me, when he stopped, just got out the car and said nothing. He then lit his fag, took our bags out the boot and told us to have a safe journey.

Are we being set up?
Is this the nicest taxi driver ever?
Is this the end?

Well none of those really. He then said that’s 600baht and put his hand out. We didn’t have just 600. We had 100 or 1000, but nothing in between. And conveniently for him, neither did he. So we stood looking at each other for a while before we did the only thing we could do and give him a 66% tip. He grabbed our hands a shouted THANK YOU like we had just performed a miracle. It made us smile but we really just wanted him to be quiet so not to draw attention to the flash English couple who give out money when put in awkward situations. Thankfully it didn’t and he was gone in a flash.

We could see our hostel over the road. But this was not just any road. It was like a busy yet fast moving M25. There were zebra crossings to help pedestrians, but we soon realised they are not the same as those in the UK. Nobody stops…ever! We just had to wait for a group of Thais that seemed to know what they were doing and make a run for it. Even one of our makeshift Thai guides almost got taken out. Thankfully we got over ok. Just be patient and if the moment arises  don’t hesitate.

So now we are in our hostel. Or more a Hotel really with a view of that deadly road and the station from our personal balcony. Tomorrow we catch the sleeper train to Chiang Mai for Lou Krathong.

Not sure what’s happening tonight but Soph has just fallen asleep. Suppose I’ll go see what that hose in the bathroom is for….

About two months ago when we finally booked this trip we were pretty excited. I mean who wouldn’t be. After all it really is a trip of a life time.

As time has gone on we have only grown more and more excited to leave. But the last few days before you leave, that all changes. The realisation that you will be thousands of miles away from everything you’ve ever known, everything that makes you feel comfortable and safe. It can either go two ways. You can be jumping around the place like you’re about to literally take off yourself, or you can do what we did….panic. When I say we of course I mean me (Chris).

Stressing about the smallest most insignificant things that wouldn’t usually bother me. Worrying about the prospect of something going wrong with the flight or passports or whatever else.

But now we are sitting in the departure lounge at Heathrow all that stress has gone and it has become clear as to what was causing all that stress. Goodbyes!

We both hate goodbyes but this one was a sufficiently more emotional goodbye than any we have had to make before. It has been a rather difficult last few days in England. There have been many people we still never got the chance to say goodbye to. But with Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, even apps like WhatsApp, those goodbyes are barely even goodbyes.

So now as we sit here waiting to board our plane we think about all those people that have helped us get here and begin to get excited again. So thank you to everyone and goodbye.

Until we get there of course, when we’ll be in touch again.