Good morning, afternoon, evening or perhaps middle of the night. Thanks for coming back. Or if this is your first time to our little diary blog thing, welcome and thanks for following.

So, much has occurred since the other day. I will of course recap these events but first I should say we have now left the city of Melbourne, and just like good old Marlin did when searching for his totally irresponsible son, we have arrived in Sydney. Of course we have bigger fish to fry (excuse the pun) than Mr P. Sherman at 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney. Instead we are in desperate need of a shower and some sleep following a 12 hour bus ride with a driver who must be going through some terrible family issues, and possibly the most annoying man to have ever held the position of number 5 best break dancer in the world. But that’s the end of the story. Which is a horrible place to start. So let’s rewind to the beginning.

When we woke on Tuesday morning we had already decided that Wednesday would be the day we left for Sydney. The question was how we were going to do that? Thankfully one of the posters outside our dorm room mentioned something about car rental from a small travel shop at the front of the hostel. So once we’d checked out we popped in to see what we could get.

The lovely Irish lady working in there was extremely helpful. Totally unrepresentative of those working around her. She gave us loads of options, called numerous companies to get the best deal for us and despite being Irish, we could still understand the words coming out of her mouth. Which is always a bonus. We needed a little thinking time on how we were going to travel from Melbourne to Sydney, but we were certain on one thing. We weren’t going to walk it….no no that’s obvious. We were certain on the fact we would need to do a lot more traveling even after Sydney. So we all purchased a hop on hop off bus pass so we could be sure of our movements from then onwards. Due to the the bus company, apparently, no longer operating between Melbourne and Sydney, we would have to decide on whether to drive or get the bus. For that we would come back.

We we’re all pretty hungry but first we needed to dump our bags in our new hostel. We chose to pick a room that had only four beds in it. That way we would like to think we could overpower anyone else that may be staying with us. Or even better, we’d have a room to ourselves. Luxury. The second we walked in to reception we knew things were much better. The team working were super nice. They offered us a place to store our bags and an area to have a shower if we wished. It had working WiFi too so we could catch up with the rest of th  world for a while.

Our room wasn’t quite ready so we rushed out to get some breakfast from a little place down the street. At first I walked straight past it thinking it was just some greasy cafe that could give you heart disease by simply walking into. But the girls liked the look of it, and two girls trumps one boy. In fact in my experience two girls trumps any number of boys, but that’s besides the point. Turned out however, on this occasion, they made a really good choice. I’ve never seen so many smiles in one place. The coffee was great, the food was top notch and our tummies were well and truly full. Shame we’d found this place on the last day.

One thing we have discovered since being in Melbourne is that the Aussies can only take a small amount of caffeine. Perhaps they all have sensitive stomachs or maybe the government capped the serving of coffee when they realised an Australian buzzing around on caffeine can be a danger to the general public. Anyway we have come to this conclusion through the pure size of their coffees. They are tiny. A latte in a shot glass seems to be the customary way to serve it out here. You’ve got to be careful not to breathe in to heavily or it will shoot straight up through your nose and be gone before the glass even reaches your mouth. It’s a shame because what coffee they do serve is really very nice indeed.

Full to the brim we headed back to our hostel to check out our new room and see if we would be sharing with anyone or if we would be on our own. We were on the top floor and knew we had a ensuite, so whether it was just us or accompanied by a stranger, we’d be ok. Soph slowly crept open the door to discover some cloths and a slept in bed already in place. There was nobody at home but the evidence  of life was very clear. Not only through their belongings but through a pretty horrendous smell. Drifting out from under our room mate’s bed was the stench of some of the most walked in shoes ever. Perhaps this guy had scrapped both the car and bus options and actually walked his way down the East coast. Either that or he was one of those people who always chooses cheese and biscuits for their dessert and makes sure he keeps a back up set in his shoes in case his chosen restaurant doesn’t offer it as an option. You all know those cheese and biscuit people. Funny breed.

The girls wanted to shower again before setting off back to book our bus ticket to Sydney. Oh yes, we’d decided with petrol, extra accommodation and the fact we didn’t know the way, that the bus would be a better option than the car. So for the first time in days the girls had showers individually and with the aid of a working light bulb. So smiles all round. Just before we headed out however we ran into our mystery savoury dessert loving room mate who was popping back to pick up a few bits. Turned out he was a strongly bearded German man who is studying somewhere on the East coast. He had been down in Melbourne to watch the tennis and would be leaving again the next day, probably to stock up on crackers and a few grapes to accompany his cheeses.

We said goodbye to our new German friend and headed back to book our bus for the following evening. This was  all very easy and we were given our tickets in no time at all. It was  very expensive though. You wouldn’t be blamed for thinking we’d ‘receive our own personal bus each with the cost but hopefully it will be worth it in the end.

Courtney was desperate to eat something noodley for dinner so we headed to town to try and find a Chinese, Japanese, Asian restaurant. Something easier said than done it seemed. We did finally discover a group of them though hiding in a seemingly closed shopping area. We plucked for one that looked to sell noodles and grabbed a table. It was a restaurant with a difference. To save the staff from having to learn English, or by the looks of things, any customer service skills at all, customers were asked to make their orders through the screen computers on each table. Because of this technological investment made by the restaurant’s management, the prices were very high. We had to choose the cheapest things on the menu and stick to our glasses of tap water to wash it all down. Unfortunately for the girls, although mine was pretty bad, theirs was awful. Their noodles had been seemingly marinated for 28 days in the dead sea, before having the clumsy teenage kitchen porter knock over a pot of table salt in his rush to the nearest mirror to see how successful he’d been in his attempt to squeeze a not quite ready forehead spot. Basically too salty to eat.

We left pretty sharpish, still hungry. No time to waste though. We were in the Australian capital of sport and our man Andy Murray was playing the Australian’s big hope in the tennis. It was to be shown on the big screen in Federation Square with a huge turn out expected. Of course it was more my idea than the girls but they were happy enough to tag along. We got our spot and joined  the action midway through the first set. Although pretty cold it was a good watch. Especially as we won. The girls even got into it too, although not 100% sure on the rules.

We survived the night by covering tissues in Soph’s smelly bite remedy and stuffing them in our sheets. Anything was better than the horrid smell coming from under the German’s bed. With both girls taking up the top bunks, it was I who woke up to find our friend standing up between the bunks stretching out in front of my face. From where I was lying down and he was fully upright, my face found itself in a pretty awkward position with his crotch. One I was very keen to roll away from.

The day was taken up by pretty much waiting around for our evening bus. There was a spell of pretty nice sunshine so we headed down to the beach to grab what rays we could. Later that afternoon we picked up some snacks for our night journey to Sydney. It was going to be a long 12 hour trip from 7pm that was bound to be horrendously uncomfortable. We got to the station early as we were told it would be first come first serve for seats. We were first in line. Something the girls were very impressed with as it was the first time in their lives they’d ever been on time for something, let alone early. When the driver eventually turned up he had already allocated us all seat numbers and so it didn’t even matter whether we were first in line or not.

When we got on the girls sat next to each other while I sat the other side of the aisle. So we were all in a line, which was nice. We had been concentrating our thoughts all day on the bus. On how uncomfortable the seats would be or how little food we would get. We totally forgot to consider the type of people we may be sharing the journey with. It wasn’t until the man who would sit in front of Courtney took his seat, that we realised that maybe we should have worried more.

Now, I want to make it clear before we go any further. I love a gay. I mean I don’t LOVE a gay guy, but I’m not one to say it’s in any way wrong. And I’m certainly not one to say they should all be forced to read FHM all day and listen to the commentary of famous boxing matches to try and cure them. There is however limit to how much campness a person can take. Whether they’re gay or not. This guy was ridiculous.

Apparently the number 5 best break dancer in the world, as of last week, he has danced for Drake, Beyonce and almost every man in the city of London. From America he had the accent of the most stereotypical gay man you could possibly think up. He was stroking Courtney like they’d been best friends for years, and told Soph how much he loved her at the end of each sentence. Although he clearly knew she didn’t like him. He wouldn’t stop going on about my smile and how he would love to do things to me when Soph wasn’t looking. To be fair I can’t blame him for that, but still. Calm down man.

He had more lies in him than a blind Pinocchio who couldn’t tell how big his nose was getting. He’s appeared in Skins on Channel 4, he’s best friends with the cast of Geordie Shore, he’s missed two flights already trying to get to Sydney because he couldn’t be bothered, oh and as I said he is apparently one of the best break dancers of all time. All perfectly believable if he wasn’t such a fat chubster. He was one of those people the whole bus were thankful to not be sitting near. Apart from us. Who had no choice.

No sleep and 12 hours of listening to why Will and Grace is, and I quote, the reason he breathes, and how Princess Diana is super amazingly awesome later, and we were in Sydney. Thankfully the girls made up some excuse as to why we couldn’t go to breakfast with him and we went our separate ways. Hope he meets someone else to talk to soon. Sure he will.

So here we are. The girls have fallen asleep in our new hostel which at the moment seems quite nice. In fact that’s not true. When I wrote this they were but I had no WiFi to post it. So I will leave you with a sneak peak of our evening and report back in more detail another time.

Thanks for following x

Hi all. How are we? Hope you’re not too cold at home. They call Melbourne the city with 4 season in one day. You never quite know what you’re going to get. Seeing as we come from the country with 4 seasons each day you would think we’d be used to that sort of unpredictability. However some of us have been in the constant heat for over 2months and the other member of the group has flown half way around the world to escape it that sort of thing. So it’s been a bit of a shock really.

Still, there’s no point worrying about the weather. So where did we leave it last time? Ah yes. The night in the drug addicts play house. It was actually a super nice sleep. We had been upgraded to a family room, mainly because they couldn’t be bothered to move a z bed into our originally booked twin room. Which is nice. We had two separate rooms with an ensuite, a tv, a kettle, a microwave and not a used needle in sight. Although I’m sure they were probably there if we looked hard enough.

Hotels are not as nice as in Asia where you can check out at midday. Here it’s 10am sharp. So following a pretty severe scrubbing in the shower we headed off to what would be our very first dorm room hostel. With just the two of us it always worked out cheaper for us to get an entire room than two beds in a dorm. Now we have grown by 50% that luxury no longer applies.

When we first checked in we were greeted, or rather not, by the wicked witch of the west. Super miserable. Our room wasn’t ready but we sort of expected that as we were quite early. So we dropped off our bags, leaving the receptionist to pop out the back, where I imagine she could stir her cauldron with the skin of young children and goblin hair. Maybe. Just a guess.

We headed off to grab some coffee and something to eat before exploring the area of St Kilda. Our home for the next two nights. It’s a pretty nice place. Beach, pier, coffee shops galore. Lovely. But what we really needed today was to do a little shopping. And when we say shopping we mean the cheapest possible shopping. Slave children produced type shopping. From our time in Perth we found the place to grab this high quality produce was from the store K-Mart.

Unfortunately K-Mart was not that easy to find. Probably because it’s verging on illegal how cheap the stuff is in there. I grabbed a pair of $2 thongs while Soph got a couple of tops and Courtney took the store’s entire stock into the changing room with her. In case you’re wondering, thongs are the Australian word for flip flops. I may have spent a month in Thailand but the place didn’t have that much of an effect on me.

After Courtney managed to narrow her original selection of 2,341 items down to 4, we headed back on the long tram journey to the hostel. Where hopefully the witch had waved her wand around enough to have got our beds ready for us. And thankfully she had. We got our card keys and headed up to pick a bed in what we knew would be an already pretty busy dorm room. We managed to pick 3 top bunk beds close to each other before going off to explore the place. Which didn’t take too long. Turned out the entire place had about 3 bathrooms between 100 people. And one of those showers was not only windowless, but also lightless. And seeing as none of us, to our knowledge, are related to a badger, we wouldn’t have seen a thing in there. Soph and I have seen some pretty nasty places, but for Courtney, the sight of a lonesome toe nail making itself at home beside one of the only sinks in the place was almost enough to push her over the edge.

We headed out and grabbed ourselves some pizza from one  of the restaurants near the hostel. As always my head was saying small while my stomach was screaming at me to go large. Which I did. Once again my head was left shaking at itself when after two slices I was searching around for a takeaway box. The girls were very happy with their salad. To share. Boring. Even though the world and his kangaroo were seemingly out to celebrate the evening before Australia Day, we headed back to our room to make sure we were first in line for the showers.

Once we’d plucked up the courage to grab a shower, we got all our things together and went in search for one with at least a light. We made our way to the very top floor where we found an almost luxury styled shower. Sure it didn’t have what we’d originally decided was a priority, I light, but it was hidden away from everyone else and had hot water. So after some pretty meticulous planning, the girls jumped in the shower together. One with a torch and a blindfold, the other with some shampoo and conditioner. I of course was more than gentlemanly enough to avoid the temptation to set up a hidden camera for the event, and stood outside as the night watchman.

A couple of pretty awkward nods to passers by wondering what the girly chuckles coming from the bathroom were later, and it was my turn. Of course I had nobody willing enough to hold a torch for me. And asking another bloke to do it for me didn’t seem to hold the same appeal as it did for the two girls. So I struggled through a pitch black shower attempting to keep the light on Soph’s phone from landing in the shower with me. Fair to say I probably didn’t get everything super clean. But I’m sure you’ll all be pleased to know the priorities were well looked after.

Then came the further awkward moment of whether or not it would be ok to turn the lights out or not. There was one other person in the room but he was right at the back, busy with his laptop. We weren’t even sure if the fella was even English so we waited until he got up and left the room. We then plunged the room into darkness the second he shut the door. We then climbed up on to our top bunks and attempted to grab some sleep. Only for some other foreign man to come strolling in, leaving the door wide open. We guessed that perhaps he was only coming in to grab something quick before leaving again. But as he left he didn’t even make an attempt to shut the door behind him.

We all looked at each other. But said nothing. A minute or so later he reappeared, again leaving the door open. Courtney had had enough. She jumped down ferociously off her bed and marched towards the door, slamming it shut and forcing the room into darkness again. Although Soph and I couldn’t now see each other, we were 100% looking in each other’s direction with an expression of “NO SHE DIDN’T!” on our faces. Turned out the foreign guy, who was clearly raised in a barn, had the same facial expression. He instantly walked over to the door and without saying a thing, reopened it. He turned, faced Courtney, and slowly, as if auditioning to be the next Terminator, told her he was trying to pack and so needed the light for just another 5 minutes.

Fair to say that was the end of that. Well and truely put in our place. Glad it wasn’t me that got up and closed the door. Phew!

Somehow that night I slept like a baby on a bed of Chloroform. The girls however were up and down like a twitchy kangaroo, barely getting a wink of sleep between them. In the end Courtney seemed to give up hope on getting any sleep and got up and ready before I’d even opened my eyes. Which is obviously good as it meant I would only have to wait around for one girl to get ready rather than two. It’s a tough life being a boy around girls. Nobody considers the amount of waiting around we have to do. It almost makes you want to get up and wash properly yourself while you’re waiting. Almost.

A new day. AUSTRALIA DAY! The celebration of when good old Caption Cook accidentally discovered Australia when chasing a crocodile that had swallowed his hand while simultaneously battling a pesky kid called Peter who never seemed to grow up. Or was that not the same guy? I don’t know. Whoever it was is not really the point. It’s the celebration of Australia being named Australia and they conduct such celebrations through the use of alcohol. Obviously.

Due to the hostel also having no WiFi we had to go out and find some before we could get involved in the celebrations. Thankfully we found it pretty easily and had a very productive session of booking further hostels and finding out where the main firework show would be for that night. We then went for a little walk to see what was going on around the city centre. We came across a little skate park that was hosting a trick completion. And with 250 bucks on the table for the best trick, there was some pretty stiff competition. We watched for a little while with our barbecued sausage in a bun before moving on.

The weather was again all over the place. Layering up and then delaying seconds later was beginning to get annoying, when the Sun seemed to finally come out for good. We chilled out on some bean bags in a park with a drink and listened to some live music. It seems nobody out here seems to understand the concept of a larger shandy. When I asked the guy at the pop up bar for a lemonade, a beer and a two plastic glasses, he responded with “Gee mate, you gonna have some sorta mix up? A cheeky British cocktail maybe?”.
A cheeky cocktail indeed. Us Brits must seem like such daredevils with our lemonade and larger in the same glass combo. What crazy cats we are.

The evening’s entertainment was over by the Docklands where a huge firework display was due to take place. Just by the Docklands is the rather large Aussie rules footy stadium named the Etihad Stadium. If you didn’t know, this also happens to be the name of Manchester City’s football stadium. And if it wasn’t for the cartoon like accent coming out of everyone’s mouth we could just as well have been in Manchester. It was cold and grey as we waited for the display to commence. But it was well worth the wait. It was a super display which probably cost the Melbourne tax payer their life savings. A proper good show.

The tram back to the hostel was jam packed. But we managed to get back and into our room for another night of awkward happenings. The most notable came when Soph and Courtney went for the shower. Same routine as the night before, just this time they were so excited they forgot to lock the door. Who forgets to lock the door? In a strange place where tons of random people are crawling about, I would be making sure that door was barricaded shut. I’d have been hammering planks of wood to the door if it was me. Piling chairs in front to make sure not even the Incredible Hulk was getting through. The girls however, forgot. So some unsuspecting lady got a full on glimpse of Courtney in the  shower before getting beaten over the head with the bathroom door when Soph’s immediate reaction was to shut it in her face. Brilliant entertainment.

So another night was spent sleeping in a small room with 13 other people all with absolutely no intention of interacting with each other. Just the way I like it. Again I will leave it there for now and update you again when we can. But just like in a tv show, Next Time On Backpacking Live…we are staying in a new hostel, in a room with 4 beds. The only other  person in the room is a German guy who seemingly stores his collection of fine cheeses in his trainers. It could be another long night.

Thanks for following x

G’day from the bustling city of Melbourne. Since landing in Australia last week I have been sick as a dog having seemingly contracted nothing less than an Ebola like illness. A lesser man would have crumbled into a dark corner to quietly die, but I have, with the help of numerous large glasses of red wine and a glass of scotch, survived.

Now I am feeling a little better and seem to be able to stare at a small screen without passing out, I can start writing again. And write I shall.

A quick round up of our 6 days in Perth to start. We stayed at Soph’s aunt’s house for the week, being taken around the city, visiting a number of Soph’s family members along the way. The weather was absolutely perfect all week with approximately 4 to 5 clouds throughout. We visited the beach, the city, the local parks, the shops and our favourite place, the wildlife park. If there’s one thing we’ve learnt from Australia so far it’s that this country has some crazy animals. If an alien spaceship landed directly in front of us, an alien popped out, waved, said hi and then flew off again, I would think it less weird than to watch a kangaroo simply get up and move to the other side of its pen. Crazy thing.

The summer of 2014 saw one single lonely barbecue when I’m pretty sure it rained through anyway. Last week we had two in a day. And if you’re not having a barbecue you can smell that someone next door is. It’s a super place where everyone is so laid back they’re walking around doing the limbo 24/7. You can quite easily see why so many Brits move over here for good. There are so many reasons from the weather to the job opportunities, the healthy lifestyle (even though there are tons of fat Aussies) to the general way of life.

When we talk about the UK in comparison to Australia we always seem to describe it as some sort of hell where if you’re lucky enough not to freeze to death or drown in a flood, you’ll probably end up homeless because you can’t afford to buy a house. Yet still, whenever someone asks me where I’m from I get an overwhelming sense of pride when I say London.

So a big thank you to everyone last week for their amazing hospitality and generosity. We both had a great time seeing everyone again, meeting those we’d never met and drinking Cedric’s never ending collection of red wine. Thank you so much.

Now however we are 3 time zones away and yet still in the same country. The country is so vast it’s mind blowing. Especially as there are more sheep here than people. It’s ridiculous.

Our first day on the East coast was a strange one. We took a night flight from Perth that took 3 hours. So with the time difference, by the time we arrived we’d bypassed an entire night of sleep. But at 6am we couldn’t exactly go check in to our hotel. So we had to wait in the airport for a little while. 6 hours to be exact! We could have flown back to Perth and then back again in that time. But that would of course be stupid. So we just slept in the terminal watching everyone check in ready for their holidays. Plus, and you may want to remember this one, having a face full of snot is possibly the most dangerous thing you can have when getting on plane. My ears would simply refuse to pop. So the pressure building up in my head was agony. I honestly thought my head was going to explode. Like a piece of uncooked popcorn in the  microwave. Dangerous indeed.

Anyway we finally got into our hotel around 1pm where we instantly fell asleep, waking up some time later with absolutely no idea where on earth we were. Around 9pm we headed back to the airport where Miss Courtney Youngs was coming to the end of her horrifically long 24 hour journey around the globe. Back in November when we waited for Hartfield to arrive at Phuket airport, we stood outside the terminal for what seemed like days for him to finally appear. So this time we left it a little later to get down there. Unfortunately however Courtney enjoyed her journey so much she decided to hop on another plane around the coast of Australia. Well it seemed like that anyway as it took an age for her to eventually walk through the arrival doors. And when she did, we missed her. It was her that found us in the end.

So now we are a team rather than just a couple. And as a team, decisions on what to do are discussed among the whole group. Yet none of us needed to discuss what the plan was going to be for day one. Sleep was on the agenda and nothing was going to get in the way of it. So sleep we did. Pretty much all day actually. Not great for Courtney’s transition into her new plus 11 hour time zone but what can you do.

We did manage to get out in the afternoon though. We walked to the train station and bought the Melbourne equivalent of London’s oyster card. Yet in Melbourne you can buy them for a set period of time with unlimited travel. So getting around is now a breeze. With buses, trams and trains everywhere, you really can’t get too lost. So on our first journey into the city we headed towards what we were told was the main train station in Melbourne. Flinders Street.

Once at our stop we stepped out the station to find ourselves right among the hussle and bustle of central Melbourne. The huge sky scrapers were behind us, while the entire city buzzed around the temporary visitor areas for the tennis. And  not only is it the Australian Open it’s also the holiday weekend of Australian Day. So the place is jam packed full of people from all over the world let alone Australia. We have arrived at a really exciting time.

Exciting does bring with it some pretty large downsides though. Having eventually found a place with WiFi we sat down and attempted to look for a place to sleep for the coming weekend. A task which turned out to be nearly impossible. Over two hours we sat in some chairs within the small shopping area opposite the station trying to find a bed for the following night. Then, just as we were getting ready for a weekend of sleeping on the beach in our sleeping bags, we came across an apartment with availability. We quickly dialled the number on the screen and got through to a very helpful out of hours guy. Our dreams were quickly dashed when he said the room had gone, but then immediately raised again when he said they had a sister hotel on the beach. And best of all it had a free room with an extra bed. JACKPOT!

Obviously we had to look up the address of this godsend of a hotel to make sure we knew where to go. If you’ve ever done  this before, which I’m sure most of you have, you would know that Google likes to offer you some of the latest reviews on the place you’re searching for. Elwood Sands, the lovely name of the hotel on the beach we had for the following day, was given such promising reviews as;

“SHOULD BE UP FOR DEMOLITION”

“DO NOT STAY HERE”

“REAL LIFE HELL ON EARTH”

Understandably we couldn’t wait to get in….

Turns out we were actually booked in to the local drug addicts and prostitute social club. The place only the desperate and deprived end up. A motel that even the Melbourne homeless were turning down for a night on the streets. The place only those who failed to book in advance for the Australian Day weekend spend the night. Hmm.

That day started by walking the, as the receptionist at the Ibis hotel said, 10 minute walk to the station. 25 minutes later we arrived at the station and jumped on the train with a large bag and a small bag each. Soph and I have been doing this for some time now, and although the walking around with all our stuff is getting slightly easier, it’s still pretty tough. And Courtney was just starting out. So you can imagine what she was in for. Having found the closest station to the drug addict’s hide away, we walked, and walked, and walked some more until we finally found the place. Fair to say the girls have been paying for it since but on the bright side, we got to see more of Melbourne. They’re not too sure.

As we stepped inside we half expected the devil himself to be holding the door open before slowly chuckling as he locked the door and threw away the key. Instead we were confronted by an extremely cheerful and helpful Asian lady who couldn’t wait to offer us her assistance. Yes the room smelt like a couple of the area’s latest prostitutes were slowly rotting away in the wardrobe but come on, we’ve been to Thailand. People pay extra for that kind of thing there.

We quickly vacated for some lunch and an afternoon of burning in the beach across the road. It was actually a really nice day with beautiful weather throughout. Unlike parts of Asia, the beach here has a slight breeze to make sunbathing for long periods of time much more appealing. Which in turn can be deadly as Courtney later discovered with some pretty nasty sunburn. But again, we’ve been at this for two months. She’ll catch up within a week. If she hasn’t collapsed from exhaustion first.

Awaiting us back at the motel was a crying lady screaming down the phone begging for 100 somethings of whatever it was she was clearly addicted to. I do hope she got whatever it was she was after. She was very polite to whoever it was she was speaking to. Every other word was a please.

In the evening we headed out for a bit of Mexican dining before retiring for an early night. Courtney was lost to the world before I could even find the remote, where as Soph and I stayed up to catch up on the days tennis. To be honest it was a super nice sleep. Best I’d had in a while. Perhaps I now need a grease layered sheet accompanied by the smell of rotting flesh to get a little shut eye these days. Have to get mum to redecorate my room on my return perhaps.

This has got a little long now so I shall stop here and update you all asap with another blog. A little glimpse into the future for you though. Tonight we are staying in our very first dorm. And seeing as we like to throw ourselves in the deep end from the get go, our room is a 16 bed dorm with seemingly one shower. Should be interesting.

Thanks for following x

Hello! It’s been a while. Too long. I’ve tried writing and uploading a couple of blogs but for some reason or other the island of Gili Trawangan hates what I write and didn’t want the world to suffer any longer. So sorry about that. Now we have left the island it seems like everything is ok again and I can finally update you all. So here goes.

We will start from the beginning as there isn’t really ever a better place to start. Unless this was Star Wars when we would  probably start somewhere in the middle. But it’s not. So yeah….

We arrived at the harbour at around 9am along with 3 French boys who had been living in Australia for the past year. Before  travelling to Ubud they spent a little time, like us, in Kuta. The pretty disgusting place we’d spent Christmas in. Turns out it seems we’re not the only ones to hate the place as one of the lads had his bag stolen by a thief on a passing scooter. The bag had his mobile, his passport and all his cash in. And we thought we had it bad.

The boat ride was not as fast as the title ‘Fast Boat’ originally depicted. We waited around for ages for all our bags to be chucked into the lower deck of the boat before jumping aboard ourselves. We never really had ourselves down as being ones to get sea sick. But this boat rocked us about so much we felt our brains could quite easily have fallen out of  our ears. The journey itself took about 90 minutes including a stop at the large island of Lombok for some people to get off.

By the time we got to Gili Trawangan I was fully recovered but Soph was still just one sharp move away from seeing her early morning banana pancakes again. And although those pancakes were lovely, they didn’t seem to have the same appeal having spent a good few hours in her stomach. We waited on the beach for our bags to be lifted out off the boat and on to shore. Thankfully it didn’t take too long for ours to land on the sand, and we were in our way before we knew it.

Gili Trawangan is a tiny island to the East of Bali. There are no cars or scooters. Just horse and cart. But having looked  up that our hostel was only a ten minute walk away, if that, I wasn’t going to be tricked into jumping in taxi, no matter the horsepower. So we grabbed our bags and walked along the beach to find our home for the next 6 nights.

One side of the island is packed full of bars and restaurants all along the beach. A beach that has the clearest water we’ve ever seen. It really was perfect. The further round the island you go the quieter and less touristy it gets. We hired a couple of bikes and cycled our way round the entire island. We had heard lots about how clubby the island was and that the more tranquil sister islands of Gili Air and Gili Meno were much nicer. But really we feel those people must have only stayed one side. The quiet side of the island is just private beaches with perhaps the odd bar to grab a drink from. Gili T is truly the best of both worlds.

When we first cycled past the last of the restaurants on the busy side of the island we found ourselves a little lost. We could no longer see the sea and we were clearly in an area only the locals went. But after making our way through some thick mud and past some pretty filthy looking cows, we found ourselves back on the beach outside a rather expensive looking resort. “That’s obviously where all the rich people stay” I said as we cycled past. The next thing we knew we were chilling out by their pool drinking bottles of beer and strawberry smoothies. As we got closer the staff asked us if we wanted to come in and use the pool for free. Having just exercised more in the last 10 minutes than we had in the past 2 months, we needed the rest. They even brought is some fresh towels to lay down on. Luxury.

Pretty much every day was spent grabbing a light lunch before relaxing on the beach. But one day instead of just relaxing, we hired out some snorkelling gear and went in search for some fish. It wasn’t too long ago that Soph and I used to visit a tropical fish shop every weekend to find a new character for our tank. So we knew our stuff. But without going scuba diving in deep water we never expected to see too much. We were so wrong. As soon as we dipped our heads in the water we were surrounded by some of the most amazing fish. The cast of Finding Nemo came out to greet us and take us on a tour of their favourite spots. But what we really wanted to see was a turtle.

We’d heard rumours that there was one near where we were looking but we just couldn’t see it. We looked everywhere but couldn’t see anything turtle shaped other than coral and bits of rock. We were just about to give up and head back to shore when something caught me eye. It looked like just another  bit of coral but this time it was moving pretty fast. We swam closer to get a better look praying that it may be what we had  been searching for. Then it became clear. There he was. An actual real life turtle, there, in front of us. He was huge. I had  been searching for something no bigger than my hand so I was totally shocked to see something so big. I guess it was one of those moments that you realise, at that very moment, you will never forget it. Unfortunately however it also happened to be the day our waterproof camera decided to brake. So perhaps we will forget it. Hopefully not though.

On our very last night we decided to head over the far side of the island to see the sunset. Bit girly I know, but we heard it’s worth a look. Turned out the clouds really weren’t playing ball and we could barely see anything going on behind them. Still it did mean we were able to see some different restaurants than the usual ones we’d been visiting during the week. We plucked for one right on the beach front. So close that if I’d dropped my knife or fork it would have been taken out to sea immediately. Making it hard, if not impossible, for the 5 second rule to be applied. Unless the salt water extends it. I’ll have to look that particular rule up.

The next morning we got all our stuff out the room and asked for the weeks bill. The man on duty happened to be someone we hadn’t met before. And it wasn’t as if the place had an influx of staff. So when he brought our bill over with the room rate much cheaper than expected and with a whole night missing off it, we weren’t going to say a thing. Who were we to question his judgement. Especially having only just met the guy. That’s just down right rude.

We sat down at a small bar where we were told to wait for the boat and ordered some breakfast. Having just saved a little money on the room we thought why not treat ourselves. Just as the boat was arriving we asked for the bill and got the money out to pay. Yet all the staff started to get distracted by some fella playing his guitar and singing some Argentinian folk song that nobody could understand. We tried our best to get someone’s attention but nobody was looking our way. So amongst the crowd of people we grabbed our bags and snuck on to the beach with everyone else. Obviously I still had the  bill and the cash in my hand to pay, but only when someone was good and ready to come get it from me. Turned out nobody ever did become good and ready because we were on our way back to Bali still with the cash. Turned out things were going from good to better on the financial front.

We spent that night back in Kuta as it was close to the airport. Same hotel as we spent our first night on Bali in, better room, cheaper price. As usual we booked the room online and paid the deposit of £3. We would need to pay the rest on arrival to the front desk. Yet they never asked for it. But this was normal. Many hotels are happy for you to pay on departure. Yet this hotel didn’t ask for any money on departure either. Quite a strange way of making money we thought. But we didn’t question it. We don’t run businesses after all, so what do we know.

So, if I’m right, we paid only £3 for the hotel, who on Christmas Eve, were charging £195 per night. And we got breakfast the day before free. And our room that night. And we got a cheaper rate for the past week. Not bad.

Unfortunately a large chunk of that saved cash was then eaten up by Indonesia’s ridiculous 200,000RP charge per person for simply leaving the country. Any who, it’s done now and we have finally touched down in Australia. Not a single cloud in the sky for as far as the eye can see. As if there is some cloud forcefield surrounding the whole country. Like England, but the opposite way round. We are staying in Perth at Soph’s Auntie Penny and Uncle Cedric’s place. We’ve been here only a few hours and already the beers have come out the fridge and talk of a barbecues and trips to the beach have started. We’ve got a really good feeling about this place.

Thanks for following x

P.S. Now we are in Australia and we clearly have much better internet I will start to blog more often again. The past week has been difficult and I’m sure there are hundreds of you out there worrying about where we must be. Literally hundreds, I’m sure.

Hi all. Sorry for the gap between posts here. It seems the hostels WiFi doesn’t like our website and so doesn’t let us post anything. It’s no bother, just it happens to be one of those things that causes me to find the closest brick wall and bang my head against it.

Anyway so it’s January still. I’m sure at home it’s cold, wet and miserable outside, high streets are packed full of people wearing their brand new coats and jumpers they got for Christmas, and A&E departments are packed with patients suffering from ‘pointy bit of umbrella to the eye’ syndrome which can hit anyone when they least expect it. Well you’ll be surprised to hear a very similar scene appears here in Bali. It does rain, quite a lot. The locals do still wear coats and jumpers even though it’s boiling. And anyone from, what we can work out, Japan or China, walk around under umbrellas. You know like Michael Jackson used to. Or Vampires do.

We were saying to day that we have really learnt a lot about how different cultures and nationalities live their lives. Not just those who live in the countries we have visited, but all those we come across. And the Eastern Asians from countries like China and Japan have probably taught us the most. Never before had we heard of Sun Lotion with Whitening agents. Face masks with snail slime and salmon ovaries to give you that frosty, pale look. And as I said, umbrellas in the sunshine. Oh and of course walking out in front of you and stopping for a chat. Is there anything more infuriating than that? I think not.

Anyway we have really enjoyed our time in Ubud. It’s a pretty busy place with scooters flying around everywhere, but yet not as crazy as the likes of Kuta or Seminyak. There seems to be a local community here that don’t force themselves and their children to solely live for tourists. Kids want to grow up and make something of themselves. Police are present and act to keep order on the roads and punish locals just as they do tourists. Not actively seeking out those not from these parts and pressuring bribes from them. There are just as many locals walking around doing their daily routines as there are tourists. And those that are tourists are not ALL Australian either. In places like Kuta and Seminyak you’d be forgiven for thinking you were in a strange part of Australia. But here it’s much more multicultural.

We have spent most of our days having breakfast at the hostel before heading into town for some exploration. Yes you read that correctly. We are actually making breakfast. It helps that it doesn’t finish until 11 though. We have visited lots of the bars and restaurants around, that we can afford, and found the ones we like. Soph is particularly fond of the one with bunny rabbits bouncing around freely in the garden. Thank you Lydia Bell for that recommendation. I can give or take a bunny to be honest. If it’s there I’ll say hello, but I won’t be making any chit chat with it. Soph on the other hand loves it there, as you can imagine.

We popped back to the monkey sanctuary too as I reckon it was probably my favourite place of the entire trip so far. I never realised I had such a love for monkeys, but I really can’t get enough of those little guys. They’re running about without a single stress in the world. Jumping on people’s heads and showing off in front of the cameras. Eating more bananas than the probably would in the wild. But we did have a sad moment today when we saw a mum carrying around its baby, not breathing. She was acting like she really didn’t know her baby was dead. Trying to feed him and get him to cling on to her. It was extremely sad. As you can imagine it was too much for Soph. For me, it was one of those things I really didn’t want to see, yet couldn’t stop watching. Just like when I saw that dog on Seminyak beach.

Outside of monkey forest and bars we have also managed to visit the Ubud temple. Voted on Google as one of the top must sees of Ubud. We came to the conclusion upon visiting this temple that perhaps none of these apparent voters have ever been to Thailand. Or anywhere with a temple. There was  simply nothing there. Some building that perhaps looked a tad like a temple but nothing more. It was barely bigger than the temple on the side of my head. It took us approximately 30 seconds to see every inch of it, look at each other slightly confused, and leave rather underwhelmed with the whole thing.

Our time in Ubud hasn’t brought with it any odd photo requests from locals but it has included some children asking us some questions for their school English project. When answering where we like in Bali we said Ubud above all others. Just like any local would do about their home town, they replied with a very shocked and confused ‘WHY?’. For us we reckon it’s the much more relaxed atmosphere. The fact not everyone is vying to con you or grab you off the street. That people are nice and respect no for an answer. It’s definitely been the nicest place we’ve seen in Bali.

And today really brings an end to our time on the island. I am writing this in the evening, doing everything we can to avoid packing our bags. But by the time I get to post this it will be tomorrow and we will be about to leave for the island of Gili T.  A tiny little island with no cars that attracts all number of travellers to enjoy its paradise beaches and warm seas. You may remember we have attempted to get there before. New Years Eve. Another card lost in an ATM. Panic. Everything as  of right now, and remember I’m writing this the evening before, is all good. So fingers crossed by the time you all wake up, we will be there.

So we will be picked up at 7am by our bus before catching a speed boat to the island. We’ve also managed to get return tickets for cheaper than the one way ones we cancelled on New Years Eve. So perhaps it was meant to be that we lost that card. Well done me ay. Well done me….

Thanks for following x

P.S. We have been unable to change our flights to Perth too. So we will be returning by boat from Gili T to Bali on the 14th to then catch a flight to Perth on the 15th at 13:30 (Bali time) with Virgin Australia. Then for the sake of those who don’t have Facebook to keep up with our updates, notably my Grandad, (hi Grandad) we will be flying from Perth to Melbourne at 23:40 (Perth time, same as Bali time) on 21st with Tiger Air. Add it to your calenders. Or calendars. Never sure which is right.

Happy Sunday everyone and welcome to a brand new year. Of course we are already three full days in to it but by now I’m sure 99% of you have already failed in your attempts to keep to your new years resolutions. Never mind, 2016 is only 362 days away.

My new years resolution is, as of today, still intact. If you’ve been keeping up to date you should be able to guess what it is with little trouble. It is of course, not to lose any more bank cards. Soph’s NYR is to make sure she keeps an eye on me whenever I use an ATM, pay with my card, have control of the wallet and generally at all times. So we’re pretty proud of ourselves at the moment. The fact we have no bank cards left to actually lose is besides the point. We’re doing well.

Our new years day was spent in bed worrying about finances. Nat West were blocking my Western Union transaction due to suspicion of fraud, we had less money in our accounts than expected, and we still had a rather large bill to pay to the hotel we were staying in. Thankfully, after numerous online chat conversations with Nat West workers, tens of phone calls to the fraud squads and a conversation with a Western Union scout in Germany, we go it all sorted. We also realised we had a little more money than we first thought. Phew.

Having spent enough time in Nusa Dua we decided to head up north a little to the small town of Ubud. We were hoping to find place that was not only interesting, clean and fun, but also cheap. Basically we wanted to have our cake and eat it. However we still had little expectations for the place after such poor experiences elsewhere on the island. To be honest we knew very little about it. Just that I took about 90 minutes to get to and didn’t have a beach.

The journey consisted of traffic jam after traffic jam. As we got to Ubud we passed lots of hotels and hostels. We saw lots of bars and restaurants too. As we pulled outside our place there was nothing but a plastic sign and a tiny entrance that would be invisible to the passer by. We had a bad feeling immediately. We’d spent ages choosing a hostel that would not only be cheap but also be livable. One that perhaps you could spend more than 5 minutes in before having people jump on you with air sealed suits and fumigation sprays and locking you in a plastic cell. Our first impressions lead to us looking over our shoulder for men in bright yellow body suits.

However the second we squeezed through the tiny Alice In Wonderland door, our feelings changed. We were given a tremendous welcome by everyone. The lady who seems to run the place, her husband, their one year old son, her sister, his parents, their grandparents, everyone was so happy to see us. Our rooms not bad either. Nice shower, clean bed. The fact their is no air con, no tv, no in room WiFi doesn’t seem to matter after the welcome. Perhaps if we’d got that last week at the bug hotel things would be different.

No, they definitely wouldn’t.

After dropping our bags down we headed out to get some dins. We decided on a small place that was just off the main road. There were signs all over the walls about how they considered customer service their number one priority. We’d been to many places like that. Difference was they prioritised super bad customer service rather than good. Here the food was great, they gave us a free beer, free cinnamon and jasmine tea and a smile. In fact they probably asked us if our food was ok too many times. They either loved hearing compliments or they were almost expecting us to dislike something. We stayed there for hours before heading back through the market. It was good to have something to do in the evenings again that wouldn’t brake the bank.

Our sleep was ok. There was some miserable cat moaning all night right outside our door and a cockerel that couldn’t tell the difference between moonlight and daylight, but it wasn’t too bad. We actually managed to get up for breakfast too. 2015 was turning out to be a good year.

2015: the year of the breakfast.

Ubud is famous (even though we’d never heard of it before last week) for its monkeys, or long tailed macaques. You may remember that we visited the Thai town of Lopburi a month or so ago. There the monkeys run a small section of the town. Here they are kept, as best as possible, to the confinement of a large monkey sanctuary. Here they can ran about and swing through the trees like they were born to do. You can, if you’re feeling brave, buy bananas to feed them with. Instead we decided to save money and just pick up the left over bananas lying all over the floor. It wasn’t long before one spotted me.

Marty, we’ll call him, saw my banana long before I saw him (cheeky). He took off from his little rocky perch and went straight for it. Startled a little, I forgot to let go. Instead I just pulled my arm away. But Marty was fully committed to the cause. He followed the prize and finally took control as he reached my shoulder. You would think, having now grasped my banana (stop it…), that Marty would have run off to his tree to show off his winnings to his jealous monkey mates. Instead he stayed put. After all the effort of having to get his lunch, he wasn’t going to simply ask for a takeaway. He was eating in today, and nothing was going to stop him.

A top of my head he ate. He mushed up the banana, now well and truly his, squashed it into my hair and ate it from there. He dribbled it down my back and my bag as well as slowly massaging it into my neck. Even as I attempted to move away he wasn’t having it. He just repositioned himself and continued his lunch. Finally he had enough and jumped off into the woods, belly full. I was of course left with chewed up banana dripping off me. It was an experience I tell ya.

We both continued to walk around taking as many pictures as possible. Soph is like a ninja with the camera. Nothing gets between her and a good shot. There were tons of tiny baby monkeys clinging on to their mum’s or causing little play fights, so Soph was filling up our memory card quickly. While she was attempting to get close to one, I had another  monkey get a little too close to my bag. The next thing I knew he had something in his hand that I wasn’t willing to let go. At first I pictured one of our phones in his grasp, so, without thinking, I went for him. I managed to nick it back only to realise it was a map from Penang. Fair to say he wasn’t to keen on my sudden attack, so he went for me. Teeth glaring he threw a few punches at my arm before jumping on me. I quickly flew an arm out and pushed him away. We then ran. There was only two of us and a whole jungle of them. We were well and truly outnumbered.

After a narrow escape we came across some more little ones that Soph could get close to. Most were running about like the children they are but one was chilled. Soph went and sat down next to him so I could get a photo. But after only a matter of seconds he decided Soph needed a good grooming. He began picking at her jumper like she was flea ridden mate of his. Think she felt a little uneasy about the whole thing so got up pretty quickly after I’d taken the picture.

Having spent 3 hours playing with these little rascals we left to get some lunch, but not before I ran into another mini ruck with a monkey attempting to steal my bag. It really was a great place to spend the day. We both really enjoyed Lopburi but those monkeys had a tendency to bite us every time they got close. These guys just wanted to eat. One even stole some hand sanitiser for a woman bag and attempted to eat it. Reckon if I was eating bananas all day everyday, I’d be willing to try anything new when the opportunity arose.

So now we have come back the hotel for a bit to shower and wash off bits of banana. We were hoping to changing our flight to Perth from the 15th to 10th, but it seems STA are messing us about a bit by saying there are no flights available. There are, so we are trying to get them to do their job and sort us out at the moment. But as it stands we are not moving to Australia until the 15th. Thankfully we have now found a place where we can enjoy and still stick to our budget. Seems that we can have our cake and eat it. So far so good.

We’ll leave you today with a few more of our monkey pics. Enjoy.

Thanks for following x