Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No no no……. It’s the blog! And it’s back with a bang! We have more stories and places to tell you about than ever before and of course further insight in to what it’s like to travel the world with two beautiful women….as well as Soph and Courtney….jokes!

Ok so first I’ll explain exactly what is going on with us and why we haven’t been online as much as we’d like. So as you know we are in New Zealand. It’s a stunning country with scenery we previously thought only possible in our dreams. We’d been told before that we would love the views around New Zealand but never thought it would be this good. No matter what direction you look you are always capturing a view fit for a luxury postcard. Perhaps one of those glossy ones they only keep inside the shop. It really is rather lovely here. Plus the weather has been brilliant. Or as the local Kiwis like to say, ‘Sweet as bro’.

In all the countries we have travelled so far we have done what ever we want, whenever we’ve wanted to do it. We have made our plan of action up as we go, moving from place to place as we please. New Zealand has been very different. Here we bought a ticket for the Kiwi Experience bus. Many of you may of heard of this before, but for those who haven’t it’s pretty much a tour bus that allows you to hop on and off at specific locations throughout both the north and south islands. The driver highlights points of interest along the way as well as stopping off as we travel to our next location so we can get out and go on a mini hike. It’s quite nice as we get to see waterfalls and hidden lakes in the middle of nowhere that we would never have seen were we making our own way around. So yeah, it’s nice.

Each day the driver will send clip boards around the bus for people to sign up to different activities that will be available at our next destination. Stuff like bungy jumps, sky dives etcetera. They will also send a clip board around for accommodation so we are guaranteed a room for when we arrive. So not only do we not have to travel around ourselves, we no longer need to worry about finding somewhere to sleep. All very nice.

All this allows you to make some pretty good friends as you go from place to place all experiencing the same places. I know what you’re thinking. It’s all too nice to be true. Well you’re right, not all is as nice as it seems. We’ve found that the ‘hop on hop off’ tag line the Kiwi Experience uses is more focused at some of the driver’s relationships with their passengers than the actual ability to change your time in any given location. It is so busy this time of year that changing your bus to the next day is way too risky. If you hop off the schedule you originally set, you may never get back on again without having to fight your way through a standby list of over 150 other travellers. Plus many of the drivers are a complete bunch of fishcakes. They are rude, racist, power hungry alcoholics who enjoy nothing more than demanding respect while they go around sleeping with their female passengers. I’ve printed off 25 copies and burnt my CV on to disc. I’m sending it in first thing Monday morning.

So, as there have been so many different places along the way, I shall attempt to sum up our events of each place rather than that of each day. Hopefully it will all go smoothly, but I will be blogging furiously to catch up asap. So expect rapid blog updates.

As all good reads do, we shall start at the beginning. Which in this case happens to be in Auckland. One of the country’s largest cities located in the northern part of the north island. The Kiwi Experience have been doing their thing since the magical year of 1988. And in this time they have managed to build up some significant buying power when it comes to choosing preferred hostels. The majority of these preferred hostels are owned by Base. So almost every place we stop we end up staying at a Base hostel. And Auckland is no different. Yet this hostel was more like a homeless shelter than anything else. Thankfully we would only be there for 2 days before catching our very first green kiwi bus.

Just like most large cities, Auckland is a pretty ugly concrete place. Skyscrapers and angry commuters who are probably going through marital problems, fed up with their miserable lives, perhaps wishing they’d done a little travelling in their youth. It does however have a nice little park in the centre and a rather tall tower like the one we climbed in Sydney. And it would be these two things that our first evening in New Zealand would be revolved around. First, however, Courtney was in for a very special treat. She was going to see her little sister. Doing a little trip of her own, Ziggy (Sigourney, if you’re wondering) had been in the country for a few days but obviously hadn’t seen her big sis since January when Court left England. So what better setting for their reunion than a dirty underground food ‘Court’. Brilliantly linked Ellsy, well done.

Unlike us three, Ziggy can make new friends easier than the only girl in the Sixth Form of an all boys school. People are literally adding her to their Christmas card list with the blink of an eye. And so it was that she had taken to this travelling business like she was born with dreadlocks and a backpack attached to her back. Corinne was her traveling partner for their 5 month trip around the world. Known each other since the beginning of their big school years, the two made a pretty good duo for not only making new friends but also getting from place to place without being kidnapped or injured or whatever else parents worry may happen to their little ones.

So we had dinner and shared a few tales of our trips so far. Good places to go, people we’ve met, how amazing this blog is….you know. General chit chat. We then headed over to the park in the town centre where we would get to experience a Chinese New Year festival with a few Chinese customs that we have all grown to love. You know the types of things; lots of lanterns, people taking selfies of themselves displaying a peace sign with their fingers, large groups cutting in front of your path before stopping for no good reason at all. It was a very interesting festival and a lot of fun walking around. I still don’t fully understand why they had a Chinese New Year festival in March when I’m pretty sure theirs is still January time, but oh well. It was good to see.

To finish the evening off we were treated to a firework show with a difference. The 5 of us found a little patch in the park where we sat down with a clear view of the Auckland Tower, now glowing red in the dark. We waited for a few moments until the display began from the very top of the tower. The show was a really nice treat and it felt like the perfect welcome to a new country. We didn’t manage to go up the tower like we did in Sydney and Kuala Lumpur, but we did get to see fireworks be let off from it. Beautiful stuff.

Ziggy and Corinne were catching their bus the day before us so we wouldn’t see them for a while until we could all meet up in a little town called Rotorua later that week. So after the show we headed back to Base for a few card games and an early night. When it came around to our bus leaving we would have to be down stairs ready at 7:30am to make sure we got a seat. Due to the Kiwi Experience office being about as efficient as an obese air hostess, we had been put on the standby list for our bus to Hot Water Beach. AKA, Stop 1. So we had to hope that at least three of the people booked on the bus had either gone out the night before and got too drunk, or they had found themselves stuck in the middle of a large group of Chinese tourists with their over sized cameras. A deadly mix. And perhaps one that proved too deadly, because when it came to the morning of our departure we got a seat by the skin of our teeth. Courtney only brushes her teeth on alternate days and luckily this was the morning of an unbrushed day. Few!

As I mentioned, Hot Water Beach was our first stop of our Kiwi Experience. A very quiet place with a unique tourist attraction. At low tide the sand starts to feel hot from the geothermal activity going on below the surface. Take a shovel and some swim shorts down when the sea is out and you can build your very own hot spa. Unfortunately for us, low tide wasn’t until 1am. Meh, we ain’t got work in the morning.

We had managed to make our very first friend in the shape of Tommy. Thankfully Tommy was a boy and liked boy things like moving above a snail’s pace and talking about stuff unrelated to their friend’s future weddings. So Tommy and I got on well. Sure, he was about as simple as a concussed sheep, but Tommy was rather good when it came to digging up sand and launching it into the sea. He made us a perfect jacuzzi big enough for the four of us to dip our bums in. It was a mind boggling place. The heat coming through the sand was at times too hot to stand in. With a name like Hot Water Beach, we sort of expected a little warmth to be felt under our feet but nothing like what we got. Google this place if you have a second. A tad mental.

We were only there for a single night before we would have to catch our next bus to Stop 2, Waitomo. However we had just enough time for Tommy and I to learn a few lessons. All of which came when we attempted to cook dinner. It turns out, that in the girls eyes, it’s near on illegal to chop a carrot without peeling it first. I honestly thought they were going to call the authorities when we brought that knife to within an inch of that carrot. I’m sure the police would have had more important things to do with their valuable time than arrest us on suspicion of not peeling a carrot, but just in case, we didn’t have the budget to bail me out in time for our morning bus, so we slowly walked away from vegetable and left the girls to it. A lucky escape.

We also had just enough time to realise Soph had misplaced her mobile. In fact she had left it on the bed back in Auckland, the silly billy. Thankfully we had also made friends with the slightly over eager housekeeper the night before and she had managed to hand it into reception for safe keeping. And the only place in the whole country we would actually be returning to was Auckland. So although she would have to go a month without her phone, she would get it back. Eventually.

So, the Waitomo bus was another early one. We had perhaps managed 4 hours sleep before we had to get up and jump on. We were officially on the list this time though so there would be no need to be extra early. Waitomo, like Hot Water Beach, was a very small town, famous for a very special tourist attraction. This was the home of some of the world’s best glow worm caves and had been on our list of must dos since day dot. A lovely walk in some millennia old caves, staring up at the glow worms like blue stars within arms reach. It sounded perfect and something we simply couldn’t miss out on. Yet there was a twist. We wouldn’t be simply making our way through the caves on foot, we would be sitting in rubber rings as we float along a series of underground rivers, jumping off ledges into pools of deep water. Pretty cool I must say.

However. The water was made of nothing less than liquid nitrogen. It was literally the coldest water ever. A dip in the frozen seas of Saturn’s moon’s would have been a more comfortable experience than this cave. It was really good fun and the glow worms were amazing, plus the guys that took us around the caves were awesome too and really helped you out when you struggled getting through a certain part. Yet we were in there for almost two hours. Any longer and we would have been cryogenically frozen until global warming had enough time to dry out the caves and release us from our icey cells. And if it wasn’t for our simple friend Tommy physically dragging the entire group through the water, we would have been. Another lucky escape.

So that’s that for part 1. My attempt at describing our days in less detail has not gone as hoped. However I’ve had fun writing again and hopefully you’ve enjoyed the read. We have really struggled for free WiFi to post while in New Zealand and even just the time to write. But you’ll be pleased, or at least we hope you will, to hear that WiFi is now a lot more accessible. So expect to hear from us more often.

Oh oh, and if anyone knows the correct way to spell ‘travelling’ (‘traveling’) or ‘travellers’ (‘travelers’) that would be of some help. Google seems to think both are right.

More tomorrow….

Thanks for following x

It’s a new day and a new blog from yet another new country. We have fled the land of the kangaroos and overweight fast food eating bags of sweat they call Australians and now find ourselves pretty much as far away from home as the planet allows. We are in New Zealand. The land of Bilbo Baggins and his tight fitting ring. The land of adrenaline and thrill seeking mentalists. A rather lovely part of the world. Yet we still have a couple of days left in Australia to tell. So this blog shall finish that off before cracking on with our Kiwi tales next time.

Our last night in Australia was spent in a hostel called Woodducks in Brisbane, where we had 3 of the beds in one of their 8 bed dorms. It seemed however that actually having a bed in this place meant pretty much nothing when it comes to sleep. The beds squeaked more than an over friendly mouse and the staff at this place partied harder than any of their guests did. When we arrived back to the hostel on our first night we were informed of a $2 BBQ being put on by the staff that very evening. Some good meat and perhaps some of those green leaf things the girls call salad sounded right up our street, so we put our names down and headed in.

Seconds later we came face to face with Events Manager Tom, who was in charge of the BBQ, looking for his events colleague Phil to go shopping with for all the food. We helped him search for Phil even though we had no idea what he looked like or any physical evidence that he even existed. After some pretty intense searching we all came to the conclusion he had vanished into thin air and so went with Tom to the supermarket ourselves as his new events staff.

Tom had been in Australia for over a year but had the tan of a new born baby. He walked us around the supermarket seemingly having no idea what a BBQ even was let alone what he needed for it to be a success. We helped where we could and left the store pretty sharpish. With only a small budget Tom thought it was a good idea to place the ketchup in his bag without scanning it first. We didn’t fancy being locked up for the night so decided to stay as far away from his antics as possible. Although a night in a cell would have probably been more comfortable than his hostel.

Back at the hostel we found Phil. We were all about to introduce ourselves when he came stumbling towards us, seconds away from throwing up all over us after an all day session on the beers. Not sure he would have been much use down the supermarket somehow.

Inside the hostel we were thanked by Tom as he went off to get set up for dinner. We put all our stuff down in our room and began getting changed ourselves when we we saw a girl in the corner doing exactly the same thing. She had been living in the hostel few some time now and knew everyone. I can’t for the life of me remember her name, so instead she shall just be remembered as Braless Jane. I don’t know what it is about girls that have been travelling for a while. They just seem to prefer going without a bra while wearing the loosest fitting tops they own, at all times. Not that I have a problem with it. Be free Jane. Feel that breeze.

It wasn’t long before Tom popped up from outside our window to ask if anyone could help him out with the cooking. The two girls quickly declined while Braless Jane would have been risking perhaps any chance she had of ever feeding her future children by getting too involved. So instead I offered my services and joined Tom outside by the BBQ.

The food was going well. Obviously. I had been joined by another long term resident who seemed to take a BBQ more seriously than a B&Q employee. He was flipping the sausages so many times they never had a chance to get warm let alone cook. I did offer a little advice but I’m not sure he understood what I was trying to say. In the end he’d stabbed them so many times we ended up with pork pattys rather than actual sausages.

Soph had appeared and was quickly given a job. She was in charge of ticking off names and giving out a single slice of bread each. In fact the meal per person consisted of two slices of plastic cheese, one sausage, one burger, a dash of ketchup and as I said, a single slice of stale bread. That is until we ran out of burgers, when you got two sausages. Fair to say Tom was not the best when it came to organising a BBQ. Especially as he didn’t even cook it anyway.

The following day was to be our very last in Australia. The girls had there sights set on bikini shopping while I had some serious blogging to catch up on. So I set off in search of a rumour. I had heard somewhere that Brisbane was home to a man made beach located on the city’s Southbank. I walked through a festival and took a look at all the little market stalls put up for the event. Then I found it. Not just a beach, there was a huge public pool free to anyone who fancied a dip. I looked for a spot and made it my home for the next few hours. The sun was beaming down on me as I layed down with one arm and leg in the water. To be honest not a lot of blogging actually got done in those few hours, although a lot of serious tanning was. That was until a huge cloud began to make it’s way over the city. It was at this point I remembered  I had come with two others and started wonder where on Earth the girls had got to. Surely nobody can spend over two hours in one shop.

I was wrong. They can. Bringing with them the huge clouds, the girls came wandering around the corner with their new purchases. They do have a tendency to appear at the same time as the clouds. Thankfully they did open up just enough to offer a little sunshine and an opportunity for them to try out their new gear.

That evening we would need an early night. We would be leaving for the airport at 5:30am via a pre ordered shuttle bus. So we headed for dinner before going back and packing our bags. The girls like to empty their entire bags every time they pack even if they used a single top from it. I am obviously not like that. I was packed and ready in less than 5 minutes so went and sat in the tv area with a large group of Germans and the once again intoxicated Phil. It was a Saturday night 10 hours ahead of the UK. So I decided not to go to sleep that night and instead stay up watching live football from Europe. It was to be an eventful night.

We still had a little goon left so I went and filled my cup and took my seat ready for the Germans to watch their game before Arsenal came on for me. It wasn’t long before Tom had come back from his night with two of the oldest woman I’ve ever seen inside a hostel. Now I would like to make it clear that for the entire evening I was sat in my seat watching the tv and not involved in any of the coming antics. First off, when one of the woman came in a thought I recognised her. Turned out I didn’t know her, she just struck a strong resemblance to one of the elephants we rode back in Chaing Mai. After about an hour of flirting with two 18 year old Germans, she dragged them outside to her car for what I can only presume to be a friendly chat. But after an hour or so they still hadn’t returned. Her old blonde friend went with Tom to see where they had got to and left us all in peace to once again focus on the tv. Seconds later however Tom was running in to say they had walked in on something nobody should have to see, causing the blonde pensioner to get upset, jump in the driver’s seat and wheelspin away with Nelly and the two Germans trapped in the back.

This in turn caused Phil to get out of his seat, walk towards the front door, black out and fall face first to the floor, smashing his head on the door as he went. All of which was enough to make him urinate in his pants as he layed unconscious in the hall way. Thankfully his colleague Tom was on hand to drag his lifeless body into bed. Meanwhile Arsenal won a tough match. So all was good.

5:30am had almost arrived so we all grabbed our bags and headed out side to meet the bus. The girls were concerned with why I had such a shocked look on my face and why they were having to tred so carefully by the front door when we left the hostel.

We waited for our shuttle bus to arrive with a Canadian girl who was catching the same flight as Courtney. Soph and I were catching a plane half hour later with Qantas. We started  getting a little panicky when 5:30 came and went with no sign of the driver. The Canadian girl was literally pulling her hair out. She marched inside to use the hostel phone and find out where our driver was. It wasn’t long until a taxi arrived. We chucked our bags in the back and began to get in. But when confronted with why he was late it started to become clear that the driver had no idea what was going on. He said he was hear to pick up an Ells party but that we hadn’t paid yet. We had paid. The Canadian was now having a full on mental break down, rocking back and forth on the side of the road. There was some pretty stern words said before a Japanese couple appeared and said this was their taxi. The driver no longer cared who was getting in his cab just as long as he got paid. WHAT WAS GOING ON!

It turned out it wasn’t our taxi and the driver had just seen my name on the paper Courtney was holding. Thankfully it wasn’t much longer until our bus did arrive. Otherwise on top of everything we could have had the mess of an exploded Canadian to deal with. The driver was about 110 years old and in a rush. We were all about to go crazy at the old man for his lateness when he opened his mouth to say…

“Your driver has had a heart attack”.

My first thoughts were; ‘Well you look pretty good for it mate’, when it became clear that he was in fact a different driver who’d been woken up by his boss to become the now emergency driver. To be fair he drove like Michael Schumacher to the airport and got us there in one piece and on time. We ran in and left the driver and the Canadian at the bus before we became involved in two heart attacks in one day.

So that was that. Australia done and the next part of our adventure on the horizon. I would like to take this as an opportunity to thank everyone again for taking the time out of your busy day to read up on how we are doing. It’s really appreciated immensely. So once again…

…Thanks for following x

You may have noticed from our Facebook updates that we have indeed moved on from Australia now. But there is still plenty to tell about our last days down under. So without hesitation I shall carry on from where I left off.

Back in camp it wasn’t long until the food was done and the alcohol was out. Goon was everyone’s preferred tickle. Remember that awful wine in a box stuff we had in Sydney. Literally only good for the wallet and getting you really, really drunk. Looking around at everyone else we definitely seemed to be the most together of all the groups. We were close already and not one of us had began moaning about the weather. And remember we had Soph and Courtney in our group. So we got the drinking games going and quickly started to become the obvious group for everyone else to want get involved with. The more the merrier.

At one point the girls decided they wanted a shower. They had got drunk pretty quickly so it was probably for the best they took a breather. Remember however the bathroom was up the hill out of site from the camp through a deathdefying path of mud, snakes and spiders. They would need to stick together to ensure their safety. Once at the shower they could separate and feel safe enough to take a shower. But they didn’t. Instead they decided to take another shower together. I don’t know if I should start getting worried here but they do seem to enjoy getting naked together when I’m not around. Hmm.

Meanwhile I was making new friends. A couple of girls, one from Bristol, one from Candada, had sat down next to me to join in the game. There were now so many accents at the table I wasn’t sure who was speaking English and who wasn’t. We continued to play until people started to give in and head for bed. There weren’t many people left when I went up to the bathrooms to find the girls. I could hear the giggles from the campsite so they weren’t too hard to find even through the pitch black snake path. Up there we ran in to cool guy tour guide, Danny. So together we all started making our way back to our tent. At that point the girls screamed. A frog! They weren’t scared of it, it was just huge. I couldn’t even see it in the dark forest until out of nowhere bushman Danny launched his right foot out and stamped it on the floor. He had stopped Kermit in his traps. He began to show us where the frog’s poisonous sap came from on its back before picking him up by his back legs. The girls begged him not to kill the poor thing, which Danny agreed to. Instead he launched the amphibian as if it was a discus far into the jungle. We never did see that frog again.

The next morning we were woken up by Danny banging a cup against a spoon. It actually sounded more like he had just set up an entire arsenal directly outside our tent and set off every weapon one after the other. It was 8am. Not the sort of time you want to be getting up after antics such as ours the night before. We got to making breakfast and our lunches for the day. We’d learnt our lessons from the day before and decided not to go with ham and plastic sandwiches. Instead we would go all out by having a single slice of bread folded in half, filled with Nutella. I can think of worse lunches.

It was of course absolutely tipping it down as we got in to the 4x4s to set off for our days activities. One of the groups started to get worried about what seemed to be a bit of a petrol leak from their car. Danny told them not to worry though. Rumours had started to spread amongst the camp that there was a pretty big storm on its way over and would bring with it some strong winds as well as even more rain. Yet it didn’t seem to phase anyone. We jumped in and headed off for a spot called Champaign Pools. A beautiful spot at the very top of the island. Well, I say beautiful. I’m sure on a good day it’s stunning.

When we got there Danny came over the radio asking us to grab some swim shorts from our bags and meet by the toilets out of the rain. The rain was literally hammering it down by this point. Once changed and together again Danny explained a little about this spot. He said that we shouldn’t go all the way in as there are some really sharp rocks that we may struggle to spot. That if we fall off the side we would be smashed to bits and almost certainly die on impact. And if we were lucky enough to survive the fall we would be a special treat for any passing tiger shark with a healthy appetite.

Moving on from the good news, Danny explained in more detail the seriousness of the incoming storm. A category 4 cyclone was moving rapidly towards Fraser and it wasn’t looking to making friends. This more than likely meant we would need to be evacuated from the island later that day with very little chance of receiving our money back for our troubles. For a small minority this was exactly what they wanted to hear. For most, including all of our group, we were devastated. Sure it was raining, but the activities are mainly water based anyway. Suck it up and jump in the water you miserable….Hmm

Having run through rain that felt more like a team of raging dingos firing nail guns at us to get to Champagne Pools, we found it was pretty much a giant rock pool. Nice to look at though. Back at the cars the plan was to drive back to our camp so Danny could call his boss on the main land and see if we needed to be shipped off or not. We waited for a while at a shop just off the beach trying to get dry before Danny announced the new plan. The cyclone was now so bad that even if we did leave the island tonight we would probably find ourselves capsized before making it half way across the channel. So instead we would tough it out and do all the things we were going to do anyway, just wetter. This caused a huge cheer from the entire group, bar one or two moaning individuals who were scared their hair might get wet. Grrr!

Ignoring their outnumbered complaints the group jumped back in their cars and headed to the next destination, Eli Creek. But not before that same group brought up their fears of that petrol leak. Again they were told it was fine and not to worry about it. Eli Creek is basically a freezing cold river with a current that ran out to sea. So the idea was you could get in and float your way down stream using those float mats you used during your school swimming lessons. It was good fun but outrageously cold. Plus due to the heavy rain the water was now impossible to see through. There could have been any number of snakes or snorkeling spiders ready to pounce on us. Yet we didn’t care. We were all so happy to still be there that we gave everything 100% no matter the weather. And it’s a good thing too, as there was no let up whatsoever.

A little further down the beach were the remains of what was once a luxury cruise liner. Before the completion of the Titanic it was in fact the largest ship of its kind in the world. Until of course a bunch of Chinese took the helm only steer it directly into some oncoming cyclone, similar to the one we were experiencing at that very moment. It is also happened to be the most photographed ship wreck in the world. So of course we needed a photo. As you can see we were really lucky with the weather….

The storm was now hovering just away from Fraser Island, threatening to drop its load right on our heads in the coming hours. So it was now time to head back to camp for a repeat of the previous evenings antics. Dinner was spaghetti Bolognese accompanied by another session of goon themed drinking games. It was another really great evening with everybody from all 4 groups now mixing with each other and making the most of an imperfect situation. Even the couple that moaned all afternoon were having a good time. At this point Danny appeared from the buses to announce some fresh news on the cyclone. We expected something like ‘well done everyone, you’ve survived it’ or maybe ‘that’s it everyone, all over’. Instead Danny told us the incoming cyclone was still not here and that it had in fact now been upgraded to a Super Storm. For those that don’t know what a Super Storm is, it is not a large black cloud with a cape on its back and a pair of tight latex undies wrapped around it. It’s 280km/h winds. That’s umbrella turning inside out kinda winds. The outcome of this news was that we needed to have all our stuff ready in case we needed to make a runner from our tents to the concrete shower unit. Exciting ay?

We stayed up as late as we physically could by finishing our drinks, staring at the stars and listening to Danny’s bush stories. The rain had stopped. Perhaps this was quite literally the calm before the storm.

When morning came we expected to be floating in our 4 person tent somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. Instead it was gorgeous sunshine for as far as the eye could see. Where was this so called Super Storm? Rumours spread again that it was apparently still on its way. That it had stopped off at the nearest service station for a wee and a bacon sandwich but was still most certainly on its way. So we quickly cleaned up the camp and set off to catch the boat back to the main land. We would have to travel for some time along the beach to get to our destination. So if we’re going to miss the storm we were going to have to put our foot down. We always travelled as a convoy. If one car was in trouble they would flash the one in front who would then flash the car on front of them and so on. Unfortunately this didn’t seem to work. Remember that car with the unserious petrol leak? They were no longer part of the convoy. In fact they were missing altogether. We all shot back to find the car dead in the middle of the beach with…you guessed it…no petrol!

It took a little while before we could fix the problem but in the end all was rectified and we were on our way to the boat and then to our original hostel in Rainbow Beach. It really was a superb couple of days. The people we met and the fun we had by far outweighed the disappointment brought around by the awful weather conditions.

Back at the hostel the tv was on loud with a few people crowding around it. The storm that never came had in fact most certainly come. Brisbane to the south of us was being evacuated and towns to the North of us held over 70,000 people with no power. All buses and trains in and out of Rainbow Beach had been cancelled. All trips to Fraser Island had been cancelled. The extent of the cyclone Marcia’s destructive force was becoming evidently clear. We were one of the lucky ones as we had pre-booked our 5 person house before we left for Fraser. Others struggled to find accommodation at all. Thankfully the council had put up an emergency shelter in the village hall so people could at least stay out the rain. But that was the funny thing. There was no rain. It was the hottest day ever. In fact the forecast for rainbow beach was hot hot hot for days to come. Yet we couldn’t leave.

The buses remained cancelled for days. There was no way in or out of tiny Rainbow Beach for at least another 4 days and even then the buses would be jam packed with backpackers desperately trying to make their way to their pre planned destinations. Unfortunately this spelt the end of our journey in Australia. With a flight from Brisbane to Auckland on the Sunday, we couldn’t risk going further away from the airport in case no bus was available to get back down again. So we would miss the Whitsunday Islands and the Great Barrier Reef. It was a devastating decision but one we had to make. Perhaps next time.

Would we let this spoil our last few days down under? What do you think? With so many people struggling to get accommodation we invited who we could to come and stay at our house. So instead of 3 of us staying in a 5 bed place, we filled all 5 beds and had a couple of people sleeping on our sofas. We even made a little extra cash from it. Some of our Fraser Island group had paid for an emergency bus to get them out of Rainbow Beach for an astronomical price. Something we simply couldn’t afford. For those of us left however, we had just enough time for one more big night. We all met at the hostel to drink even more goon before heading down to the beach with only the reflective light from the moon to guide us. Half of the group were English, the other half English speaking Germans. And as people from those two nations always do, it wasn’t long before we were having a singing competition. Screaming out eachother’s national anthems like we were about to head into battle. Again.

Leaving Rainbow Beach was actually a rather sad moment. Overall we’d spent 10 days shopping from the same tiny shop, seeing the same people all wishing they could leave. By the time we actually did leave, nobody wanted to. But life must go on, and so it did. Back to Noosa for two nights before Brisbane and ultimately Auckland, New Zealand. But that’s for the next blog. It won’t be long, I promise.

Thanks for following x

G’day. How are we? Good I hope. I know, it’s been a while again since you lucky folk got to read up on our most recent adventures around Australia. Well you need wait no longer.

I actually write this on our very last day in Australia. I am sitting on a step with my legs dangling in a free swimming pool on Brisbane’s Southbank. The girls have gone off to try on bikinis and purchase some girl things which, unsurprisingly, I have zero interest in doing. So instead I have found a man made beach. Pretty happy with my choice right now.

We have done quite a bit since we last spoke but I was still planning on squeezing it all into one blog. The girls have put their feet down though and made me promise to split it all up to make sure I don’t miss anything. So sit back and enjoy.

So where were we? Ah yes we were leaving Surfers Paradise for Rainbow Beach where we would then be picked up for a couple days camping on near by Fraser Island. But first we would spend the night in the lovely town of Noosa.

2 hours North of Brisbane, Noosa is a small town packed with beaches. We were staying at a hostel at the top of the hill, about 10 minutes walk to the main beach. Aptly named, Main Beach. We spent a few hours here waiting until the Sun went down and watched as the surfers continued to catch their waves in front of the sunset. We hadn’t caught a full sunset in quite a while, so it was really nice to spend a little time appreciating the different colours the sky and the clouds go when the Sun dips out of view.

By the time it is was completely dark we were ready to eat. We headed off the beach and on to the main street to see if we could find a supermarket. On our journey we discovered a few people congregating around a man and his guitar. Not wanting to miss out on a congregation we quickly merged in and watched this talented fellow do his thing. He was actually really good. Not just any street busker, he had a full on set with a huge speaker and even his own stool. A true professional. As we sat watching we spotted a really cool ice cream shop where they made their produce using liquid nitrogen. Undoubtedly a small tub of this dessert was more expensive than a semi detached in Sevenoaks, but they did have a $2 treat of frozen popcorn available. Which was dreamy with a bit of salted caramel sauce dripping off it!

The next day we were moving on again. Our bus wasn’t until 4:20 in the afternoon though so we had just enough time to revisit the beach and burn the hell out of ourselves. Although we have had some pretty poor weather during our time in Australia we were really starting to top up our tans again now. The further we travelled north the warmer it was seeming to be and the fewer clouds were getting in the way. This was clearly evident in Courtney’s skin tone which was beginning to look more like she was actually travelling and a lot less like she’d been locked in windowless basement since birth.

Our bus journey would drop us off in the bustling town of Rainbow Beach. And by bustling I mean the complete opposite. It’s hard to really paint you a picture of how quiet this place is. To be fair I wouldn’t need a lot of paint. Could probably just dip the brush in once and be done. It has a shop…uhm…a petrol station. Oh and a beach of course. But that’s pretty much it. When the bus arrived it was totally dark outside. Thankfully our hostel was directly opposite the bus stop so we didn’t have far to go.

Usually I book the hostels. I say usually. I always book the hostels. But today was a day of firsts. I can’t remember exactly what point they were hoping to prove, but the girls wanted to book the Rainbow Beach hostel. Perhaps to show me that they didn’t completely rely on me to safely navigate them around the world. Which they do. Well they decided to leave it until the very same day to book somewhere for us to stay that night and unsurprisingly found very little available. In fact there was nothing available. Nothing at all. Zilch. Nada! However after a while they did come across something on a website we don’t usually use. An apartment that could take 5 people. It would be a little more than our recent rooms but we had no choice but to say yes.

Somehow it was a fantastic decision. We had landed ourselves a full on house. It had a kitchen with a working oven, a tv with sofas and a table for us to eat at. It even had a private double bedroom for Soph and I to sleep in while Courtney had a room to herself. It was awesome. So although without me I’m pretty sure the girls would still be looking for the exit at Melbourne airport, when it comes to booking a hostel, they do have some good luck. Because that’s all it was. Luck.

That evening I cooked dinner. That’s right, I do that too. On the menu tonight was a beautiful and flavoursome Italian dish I like to call pasta bolognese. It’s my very own recipe of the cheapest possible mince available mixed with some Dolmio sauce delicately displayed on a bed of own brand pasta. The sort of dish that gets passed down through generations. But we didn’t stop there. Oh no. To accompany this delight our thirst was quenched with nothing less than the very best in cloudy lemonade, followed by a dessert pure enough to tickle even the sweetest of sweet tooth. A delicious curly whirly. I’m considering bringing out a cook book when we get back to England. Keep your eye peeled for ‘Ells Does Christmas’ coming to all major book stores this holiday season.

That evening we attempted to enjoy a really good night’s sleep. A double bed, the sound of the waves washing up on the shore. It had the makings of some superb dreams. Unfortunately the boys next door had every intention of preventing us from doing just that. They thought it would be a cracking idea to run up and down banging on the front doors of each house and running away. With only three houses on the street, including their own, it didn’t take them long to get bored of this game. So instead they moved on to that old favourite, running up and down the road completely naked chasing each other around with kitchen knives. Somehow I think we must have fallen asleep because we didn’t find out the end result of that game.

The next day we woke up at our own pace before having some Nutella on toast for breakfast. When we were ready we headed out to discover what Rainbow Beach had instore for us. We carefully made our way out of our driveway, warily looking out for any chopped off willies that may have fell victim to the boys late night fun. The beach was just as vacant as the rest of the town but it stretched for as far as the eye could see. Tall cliffs over hanged the beach made up of all different types of rock. It’s these cliffs that give Rainbow Beach it’s name. The varying colours of sand seem to just stop as another one starts as if someone has literally gone along and painted them. Sure you don’t get the indigo or the red sand like you would hope to see from a place with the word rainbow in its name, but it was still good to see.

We needed to be at the hostel again for 4pm for a group chat with all the people going to Fraser Island the next day. I remember when I was little I used to love making new friends. It wouldn’t matter who it was. I could have walked in on a group of child murdering Nazis practicing their latest killing techniques and still felt comfortable asking for all their names and how long they’d been in the child cruelty business. Nowadays I cross the road whenever a group of more than two people are heading in my direction. I don’t know why. I’ve just developed a strong fear of anyone new trying to talk to me. So this 4pm talk was pretty much my worst nightmare. Over 30 people split into teams of 8 and sent off to do a group food shop before spending the next 3 days in each others pockets.

Our group was made up of me, Soph and Courtney as well as two boys from Sweden, a couple of Germans and Finish girl. All of which could speak perfect English. Thank God because I can’t speak a word of Swedish or Finish and my German can only get me as far as asking for directions to the closest pharmacy. We chatted away introducing ourselves before signing a few forms and watching a video on how to drive a 4×4 on sand. Fraser Island is home to the world’s largest stretch of sandy beach. Over 70 miles of sand surrounding dence forest with lakes and rivers untouched by humans. It is also home to a ton of wild dingos and the washed up remains of the largest luxury cruise liner before the Titanic. Thousands of backpackers travel there each year to drive around in 4 wheel drives and spend the night getting entirely intoxicated on bagged wine and sleeping in 4 man tents. People actually pay to do this.

Our first task as a group was to go shopping for the food we would be eating and the alcohol we would be consuming over the next few days. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to food shop with 8 people, but if you haven’t, it really is a true example of too may cooks spoil the broth. To be honest I’m surprised the broth even got going the first place. The girls wanted fruit and veg. The boys wanted meat. The girls wanted cerial. The boys wanted meat. It really was a battle of the sexes in the only tiny market store in Rainbow Beach. On top of this 3 other groups were in there doing exactly the same thing. Absolute pandemonium.

In the end we came to a fair compromise and got back to the hostel to chuck our produce in the fridge. It turned out we actually had a really good group. Everyone was willing to compromise when it came to food and we all just clicked without a hitch. Nobody was left out and the group was looking strong already. Perhaps I can still make friends.

We said our goodbyes for the evening before heading back to our little house. We needed to be back at reception for 7am so we were hoping the boys next door had done enough naked knife dancing for one week and headed for an early night. That or perhaps they’d learnt their lessons from the previous night and no longer had anything to chop off anyway. Either way the night passed without so much as a peep from our noisy neighbours.

Morning came and we were back in our groups ready to make our days lunch. As a group we chose ham and cheese sandwiches with a bit of lettuce and some chopped tomatoes. Some people even dabbled in a drop of mayonnaise. To save money we decided to go for the processed cheese slices rather than the block of mature cheddar. A poor choice indeed. It was then that we met our guide for the next couple of days, Danny. Danny had coolness dripping from him like sweat from a fat Australian’s armpits. If someone had told me he’d just freefalled in from a speeding jet without so much as a parachute and a blink I would have believed every word they said. Group by group he showed us around our car and explained how to drive it.

The vehicles were big. They were automatic 4.5 diesel engined beasts ready to eat up the sand like a hungry sand eating monster. The first task was to decided who was going to drive first. All three of the girls said they didn’t want to do it. Both the Swedish lads were still drunk from the night before and the two German boys just seemed to look directly at me as soon as the question was asked. So not one to shy away from a challenge I jumped in the front seat and took charge.

To aid driving on sand, quite a bit of the air was taken out of the tires. So the task of driving from the hostel to the boat was made quite difficult as it was a normal tarmac road the whole way. Once we got on to sand things became a little easier until I then had to navigate our way up a ramp and onto the moving ferry. Easy enough for a skilled driver such as myself. Once we reached Fraser Island things became ever more challenging. We travelled as a convoy a long the bumpiest makeshift road I’ve ever driven on. Swerving from the low pressured tires while still acting like a total boss with one hand on the wheel and the other arm leaning in the window frame. Turning that music up. Proper gangster like.

Our first stop was for lunch. It was here we discovered how much of an horrendous idea it was to choose the processed cheese over the block. After attempting to swallow what we could of the warm plastic like cheddar everyone from all 4 groups headed down the hill to Lake McKenzie. A beautiful lake surrounded by sand you could brush your teeth or shine up your watch with. There were no streams or rivers leading in or out of this lake, so it was filled with unsalted rain water. It had been pretty sunny up until this point but on queue the rain began to pour just as we began to jump in. But as they say, once you’re wet you’re wet.

It wasn’t long until the entire group was split in half. Some of the group were chucking a frisbee around while the other half were trying to keep a football above water. If you know me well you’ll know I’m pretty darn good at throwing a frisbee. So when a couple of the boys from another group brought their disk out to play in the lake, it was the perfect ice breaker for me. A single throw later and I was god in their eyes. Too easy. This friends making malarkey was all coming back to me. Turned out a couple of the boys came from Southampton and with me having gone to Portsmouth Uni, I had even more to talk to them about. Things were going well. However  what you would probably call the jocks of the group were playing with footy. You know, the ones with dream bodies and swooping hair. The popular kids. I still needed to brake into that group. One step at time. The girls had made good friends with the other girl in our group from Finland so we’re happily chatting away with her watching everyone play around.

By the time we arrived at our camp the rain was coming down like an English summers day. The camp site was made up of a covered area with lots of tents underneath. There was another covered area that had a few long wooden tables under it as well as a sort of kitchen type area. The showers and toilets were located further up the hill through a muddy path that was getting worse by the second due to the constant down pour. And I’ll say it again, we actually paid for this. All was ok though. Dinner was just around the corner. Unfortunately the tools weren’t available for me to conjure up on of my famous dishes, so instead sausages in a slice of bread were special of the day. I think the girls even got a dash of salad to go with it.

The night would be a blast. But I shall stop there and carry on with the next blog so things don’t get too out of hand.

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