BULA BULA!

We’re in Fiji baby. Actually that’s a lie. We’re not. But for the sake of the blog, we are. I was hoping to wrap Fiji up in a single blog but as I’m writing I can tell there’s is way to much to just cram into one. And why should I. So I shall write the whole thing, then split it up into perhaps two blogs. So here goes…

Our flight from Auckland to Nadi was a lovely one. Courtney managed to make it through without her head exploding and the staff aboard were top class. Not being the most well known of airlines we really weren’t sure what to expect from Fiji Airways. I mean we hoped for things like wings and air sealed windows but you really cannot assume anything in this world. Not without making an ‘ASS’ out of ‘U’ and ‘ME’ that is (think about it).

Thankfully however the plane had both these things and a lot more too. We had some really nice grub and also managed to see away a few beers and and glass of red thanks to the airhost’s willingness to see us fall face first out the plane once we’d landed. Either that or he knew the pilot’s track record when it came to landing and thought we’d all be better off intoxicated when it came to it. We almost never made it on the flight anyway when I had a slight mishap with the boarding passes. I lost them. I knew for sure that I had placed them inside everyone’s passports but they weren’t there. The passports were but the boarding passes weren’t. I checked everywhere. The girls kept asking stupid questions like “have you checked your pockets”. Do they really think I wouldn’t check my pockets. I’m not wearing parachute trousers. Do they not think I would know if they were there?….

…anyway they were in my pocket. So. Yeah. Whatever.

Once we’d landed safely and we’d stumbled into the airport we were welcomed by a group of singing Fijians. It was such a nice way to rid you of the city feel we’d had from Auckland and smooth you in to the more chilled out Fijian vibe. The locals here are well known for doing things in their own time. Fiji Time. This must be where the girls get their own watches from. They are so relaxed and always happy. Everybody here says hello or BULA to you no matter whether they’ve met you before or not. The Thais were very much the same but they more often than not wanted something in return. Here they are simply happy to see you.

We spent our first nights in a hotel called Wailoaloa. For Soph and I it felt like we’d just gone back in time to our period in Asia. It was dark but still so hot and there were lizards climbing all over the walls. The hotel was only £5 a night for a bed in one of their dorms, but when we checked in they’d over booked so could only give us a private room for the 3 of us….at the same price. WiFi was free and there was a really nice pool too. We had really landed on our feet here.

Soph was still feeling a little delicate so after dinner Courtney and I were the ones to venture out and see what was around. But we were on a road in what seemed like the middle of nowhere. There was nothing around but over grown grass and certainly no street lights. We made our way towards what we hoped was a shop as our eyes attempted to adjust to the darkness. We were starting to feel a little silly that we’d even began this walk when out of nowhere a pack of raging wild dogs starting barking at us from behind a fence. We lept out of our skin so fast we left a cartoon styled silhouette of ourselves on the pavement. I, of course, wasn’t scared of them. I was just simply startled by Courtney’s screams.

As we walked further in to the darkness we were over taken by a car that seemed to slow down as it passed us. It then stopped a few hundred yards ahead and began to slowly turn around. It then turned its main beams on and shined them in our direction. This was going to be it. The end. We were about to be attacked and thrown into the back seats of some Fijian Gangster’s BMW before being skinned and cooked alive to a good medium rare. And all I had as protection was Courtney, who, when I looked over my shoulder, had thought it less suspicious to simply jump head first into the nearest bush. This really was then end…. *gulp*

But then, all of a sudden, the danger passed. The car drove towards us but simply continued on its journey without so much as a look. In fact they were probably more concerned with the fact one of us was sticking out upside down from a bush. A close shave perhaps. Once we’d finally arrived at the shop we found it was unlike most convenience stores we’d come across. First off it was super bright. Opening the doors was like walking through the gates of heaven itself. Just with a Fijian on the door instead. The shelves were big and deep but they would only ever place one item out at a time. You would need to have a word with the management if God forbid you wanted 2 bottles of coke. Anyway this shop was a tad strange but it did have the snacks we required, so we took them back to Soph who was being a brave little soldier all tucked up in bed.

We stayed at this hotel for a few nights before they decided we’d been staying in a private room long enough now and wanted us to pay more or get out. We hadn’t the money to pay the true price of the room so moved down the road to the beach front where our new home for the next 3 nights would be.

When almost every person ever comes to Nadi they stay in a place could Smuggler’s Cove. It’s located right on the beach in the middle of a row of hostels and mini hotels. Yet Smugglers is where people go whether they’re staying there or any of the others on the road. It has a large restaurant and they always have something going on like fire dancing for example. Yet, we weren’t staying there. We were staying at a place called Bamboo just along the road. Our room was a 16 bed dorm that looked more like a war time hospital ward. There was hot water but all the hot taps had been dismantled so nobody could use it. Which was nice of them. The girls were on two single beds on one side of the room while I was opposite them. However I was lucky enough to be next to a man we later nicknamed ‘Wet Fart Man’. You can probably work out for yourself why he had this name but in case you can’t, he was a rather overweight sweaty 65+ year old man who, whenever he nodded off, would release a gas of biblical proportions toward my face. Yummy.

We spent our days in the town of Nadi simply chilling out in the beach chairs provided by Smuggler’s. We basically lived out our 6 days sleeping and topping up the tan. Which I might add has come on leaps and bounds. The girls still think they’re pale even though people are now turning lights off to conserve electricity when they walk into a room. I’m pretty content. I have a distinct shorts line and that’s all I care about. With 5 days in New York to come it will all be gone by the time we get home anyway.

Very quickly Saturday 4th April came around and it was the day we were leaving Nadi to venture off to a couple of Fiji ‘s amazing islands. It also happened to be my birthday. Yay me. The girls had very kindly stolen some balloons from Smugglers and placed them on my bed for when I got back from the bathroom that morning. They’d also made me a little card from a postcard so I wasn’t too empty handed for my special day. Not that I could be. I was in Fiji!

We caught our boat to the island of Mana in the group of islands called the Mamanuca Islands. As we came in the sea was literally the most amazing colour blue. The coral reef below our feet was abundant with the brightest coloured fish and other sea life. As we stepped off the boat and into the water we were once again greeted by a team of singing islanders with their mini guitars and smiling faces. It was as if they’d been waiting all their lives for this moment when us three came to their tiny island home.

Checking in we came face to face with a lovely girl called Erin. We’d met her two days before when she came barging in to our room in Nadi smacking me on the backside with the door, sending me into a face first dive towards the floor. We ended up going for dinner with her and playing a few games of cards one evening. She wished me a happy birthday and shot off to continue her diving lessons. Later we found out we were actually sharing a room with her too. Her and an Irish guy called Charlie. Built like a two story house, Charlie was an intimidating bloke with his thick Irish accent. The sort of person who on the third time of not full understanding what he just said you would rather just nod and smile to than ask again. But Charlie, when you could grasp what he was saying, was possibly the funniest person ever.

At dinner for our first night we sat at a table with Erin and Charlie who were starting to congratulate me on making it to my 27th birthday, perhaps an age not so common for the Irish, when the island’s New Zealand diving instructor jumped up and shouted, “is it your birthday”.

….”yes”…..

At first I was rather worried what this rather over excited Kiwi had in store for me. Turned out it was a free drink. And things just kept getting better. First the girls pulled out a couple of presents they’d managed to find back in Nadi. They got me a very colourful bracelet and a wooden decorative mask meant to give the owner good luck. Then, as the evening’s entertainment was about to start, the lights all went out and a large group of singing Fijians appeared with a cake and a cheeky candle in it. They surrounded me and sang a Fijian happy birthday for about 10 minutes before all shaking my hand and giving me a pat on the back. It was a really great thought and fully organised by the girls. A perfect birthday in Fiji.

The next day, and now officially 27, we heading out for a spot of snorkelling. Soph and I, you may remember from a previous blog, managed to spot a huge turtle when snorkelling on the island if Gili Trawangan just off the coast of Bali. But Courtney hadn’t joined us at that point and still really wanted to get in the water and see some fish. And what we saw was nothing short of amazing. The coral was fantastic and had every type of fish you could ever want to see living with in. Clown fish were everywhere, as well as bright blue starfish scattered along the ocean floor. Such a shame we didn’t have an underwater camera as it would have been great to show you just a glimpse of what we did.

Floating on the surface with your face in the water is possibly one of the calmest places on Earth. Starring into a world so different from our own with nothing but the sound of your own breath as a soundtrack. Yet our calmness didn’t last long. I’m not exactly the best swimmer in the world and after a while I just want to have my feet on some firm ground. This causes me to panic a little and lead to more and more water leaking into my mask. Then there’s Sophie. Somehow Soph’s feet began to suffer from extreme cramp. She was screaming with agony as she attempted to swim back to shore. Yet by this time the current had got stronger and the waves choppier. So with me now totally unable to breathe and Soph’s feet curling inwards on themselves it was down to Courtney to safely guide us back to dry land. It took us a good 15 minutes and we ended up with limbs full of cuts and bruises as we smashed into the sharp coral and jagged rocks, but we did it. You’ll be pleased to know Soph’s cramp instantly disappeared once out and I am also still alive. So thanks Courtney. We are pretty useless in the water it would seem.

We spent the rest of our days on Mana sleeping on the beach in the morning before the girls took photos of themselves in the afternoons. Sometimes they would ask me to join. Not for the photos but so I could take more of them together. Blatantly because they knew I’d upstage them by striking a pose of super model standard of course. It’s amazing how many photos they’ll take and then never let anyone see. Any photo you ever see on this blog now has to go through a whole range of quality control measures conducted by the girls. Never can a photo break through unchecked. Never!

When it comes to food on Mana you get what your given. There’s no menu or choice at all for that matter. We had already paid for our meals as part of the booking before we left Nadi so we couldn’t really afford to let a dish pass us by whether we liked it or not. Something not so easy when you’re as fussy as I. Soph is also a tad fussy but nothing like me. Thankfully the meals weren’t too bad, apart from one night. Fish pasta night. All three of us hate fish. We love tropical fish swimming around our faces. But dead cooked fish is not our cup of tea at all. So when this fishy dish came out smothered in garlic and butter (2 other things I can’t stand) things really weren’t looking good. I slowly made my way through it like the good boy I am, while the girls smashed their way through it like it was a bowl of chocolate ice cream.

That night Soph woke up around 2am with the sudden urge to be sick. We rushed to the bathroom and stood as she took deep breaths and attempted to feel better. She was adamant she didn’t want to throw up in case she woke Erin and Charlie up. She didn’t care about Courtney. Neither did she need to. Courtney came stumbling in a few moments later also complaining of feeling sick. We spent the next hour of that night at the public toilets near the bar where the girls occupied both cubicles throwing up their rather iffy garlic fishy pasta dishy. Poor girls. I on the hand was fine.

Leaving Mana island we were feeling a little sad. The food had been…ok…the showers were cold and the sea had left us nursing some deep wounds, but we’d loved it. The island was beautiful and exactly what we’d expected. Next we would move on to the island of Waya and the Octopus resort. I will leave that and the rest of our days in Fiji for next time. I already can’t wait to tell you about our first day in Los Angeles so it won’t be long I promise.

Ah yes so we are now in Los Angeles. For those not blessed with the knowledge of Geography, like Courtney for example who struggled to find England on a world map, we are on the Western side of the United States in a state called California. You may of heard of it. We have gone from being 11 hours ahead of the UK to being 7 hours behind it. I don’t even know what day it is any more. Not that it matters. We haven’t got work in the morning.

Thanks for following x