G’day from the bustling city of Melbourne. Since landing in Australia last week I have been sick as a dog having seemingly contracted nothing less than an Ebola like illness. A lesser man would have crumbled into a dark corner to quietly die, but I have, with the help of numerous large glasses of red wine and a glass of scotch, survived.

Now I am feeling a little better and seem to be able to stare at a small screen without passing out, I can start writing again. And write I shall.

A quick round up of our 6 days in Perth to start. We stayed at Soph’s aunt’s house for the week, being taken around the city, visiting a number of Soph’s family members along the way. The weather was absolutely perfect all week with approximately 4 to 5 clouds throughout. We visited the beach, the city, the local parks, the shops and our favourite place, the wildlife park. If there’s one thing we’ve learnt from Australia so far it’s that this country has some crazy animals. If an alien spaceship landed directly in front of us, an alien popped out, waved, said hi and then flew off again, I would think it less weird than to watch a kangaroo simply get up and move to the other side of its pen. Crazy thing.

The summer of 2014 saw one single lonely barbecue when I’m pretty sure it rained through anyway. Last week we had two in a day. And if you’re not having a barbecue you can smell that someone next door is. It’s a super place where everyone is so laid back they’re walking around doing the limbo 24/7. You can quite easily see why so many Brits move over here for good. There are so many reasons from the weather to the job opportunities, the healthy lifestyle (even though there are tons of fat Aussies) to the general way of life.

When we talk about the UK in comparison to Australia we always seem to describe it as some sort of hell where if you’re lucky enough not to freeze to death or drown in a flood, you’ll probably end up homeless because you can’t afford to buy a house. Yet still, whenever someone asks me where I’m from I get an overwhelming sense of pride when I say London.

So a big thank you to everyone last week for their amazing hospitality and generosity. We both had a great time seeing everyone again, meeting those we’d never met and drinking Cedric’s never ending collection of red wine. Thank you so much.

Now however we are 3 time zones away and yet still in the same country. The country is so vast it’s mind blowing. Especially as there are more sheep here than people. It’s ridiculous.

Our first day on the East coast was a strange one. We took a night flight from Perth that took 3 hours. So with the time difference, by the time we arrived we’d bypassed an entire night of sleep. But at 6am we couldn’t exactly go check in to our hotel. So we had to wait in the airport for a little while. 6 hours to be exact! We could have flown back to Perth and then back again in that time. But that would of course be stupid. So we just slept in the terminal watching everyone check in ready for their holidays. Plus, and you may want to remember this one, having a face full of snot is possibly the most dangerous thing you can have when getting on plane. My ears would simply refuse to pop. So the pressure building up in my head was agony. I honestly thought my head was going to explode. Like a piece of uncooked popcorn in the  microwave. Dangerous indeed.

Anyway we finally got into our hotel around 1pm where we instantly fell asleep, waking up some time later with absolutely no idea where on earth we were. Around 9pm we headed back to the airport where Miss Courtney Youngs was coming to the end of her horrifically long 24 hour journey around the globe. Back in November when we waited for Hartfield to arrive at Phuket airport, we stood outside the terminal for what seemed like days for him to finally appear. So this time we left it a little later to get down there. Unfortunately however Courtney enjoyed her journey so much she decided to hop on another plane around the coast of Australia. Well it seemed like that anyway as it took an age for her to eventually walk through the arrival doors. And when she did, we missed her. It was her that found us in the end.

So now we are a team rather than just a couple. And as a team, decisions on what to do are discussed among the whole group. Yet none of us needed to discuss what the plan was going to be for day one. Sleep was on the agenda and nothing was going to get in the way of it. So sleep we did. Pretty much all day actually. Not great for Courtney’s transition into her new plus 11 hour time zone but what can you do.

We did manage to get out in the afternoon though. We walked to the train station and bought the Melbourne equivalent of London’s oyster card. Yet in Melbourne you can buy them for a set period of time with unlimited travel. So getting around is now a breeze. With buses, trams and trains everywhere, you really can’t get too lost. So on our first journey into the city we headed towards what we were told was the main train station in Melbourne. Flinders Street.

Once at our stop we stepped out the station to find ourselves right among the hussle and bustle of central Melbourne. The huge sky scrapers were behind us, while the entire city buzzed around the temporary visitor areas for the tennis. And  not only is it the Australian Open it’s also the holiday weekend of Australian Day. So the place is jam packed full of people from all over the world let alone Australia. We have arrived at a really exciting time.

Exciting does bring with it some pretty large downsides though. Having eventually found a place with WiFi we sat down and attempted to look for a place to sleep for the coming weekend. A task which turned out to be nearly impossible. Over two hours we sat in some chairs within the small shopping area opposite the station trying to find a bed for the following night. Then, just as we were getting ready for a weekend of sleeping on the beach in our sleeping bags, we came across an apartment with availability. We quickly dialled the number on the screen and got through to a very helpful out of hours guy. Our dreams were quickly dashed when he said the room had gone, but then immediately raised again when he said they had a sister hotel on the beach. And best of all it had a free room with an extra bed. JACKPOT!

Obviously we had to look up the address of this godsend of a hotel to make sure we knew where to go. If you’ve ever done  this before, which I’m sure most of you have, you would know that Google likes to offer you some of the latest reviews on the place you’re searching for. Elwood Sands, the lovely name of the hotel on the beach we had for the following day, was given such promising reviews as;

“SHOULD BE UP FOR DEMOLITION”

“DO NOT STAY HERE”

“REAL LIFE HELL ON EARTH”

Understandably we couldn’t wait to get in….

Turns out we were actually booked in to the local drug addicts and prostitute social club. The place only the desperate and deprived end up. A motel that even the Melbourne homeless were turning down for a night on the streets. The place only those who failed to book in advance for the Australian Day weekend spend the night. Hmm.

That day started by walking the, as the receptionist at the Ibis hotel said, 10 minute walk to the station. 25 minutes later we arrived at the station and jumped on the train with a large bag and a small bag each. Soph and I have been doing this for some time now, and although the walking around with all our stuff is getting slightly easier, it’s still pretty tough. And Courtney was just starting out. So you can imagine what she was in for. Having found the closest station to the drug addict’s hide away, we walked, and walked, and walked some more until we finally found the place. Fair to say the girls have been paying for it since but on the bright side, we got to see more of Melbourne. They’re not too sure.

As we stepped inside we half expected the devil himself to be holding the door open before slowly chuckling as he locked the door and threw away the key. Instead we were confronted by an extremely cheerful and helpful Asian lady who couldn’t wait to offer us her assistance. Yes the room smelt like a couple of the area’s latest prostitutes were slowly rotting away in the wardrobe but come on, we’ve been to Thailand. People pay extra for that kind of thing there.

We quickly vacated for some lunch and an afternoon of burning in the beach across the road. It was actually a really nice day with beautiful weather throughout. Unlike parts of Asia, the beach here has a slight breeze to make sunbathing for long periods of time much more appealing. Which in turn can be deadly as Courtney later discovered with some pretty nasty sunburn. But again, we’ve been at this for two months. She’ll catch up within a week. If she hasn’t collapsed from exhaustion first.

Awaiting us back at the motel was a crying lady screaming down the phone begging for 100 somethings of whatever it was she was clearly addicted to. I do hope she got whatever it was she was after. She was very polite to whoever it was she was speaking to. Every other word was a please.

In the evening we headed out for a bit of Mexican dining before retiring for an early night. Courtney was lost to the world before I could even find the remote, where as Soph and I stayed up to catch up on the days tennis. To be honest it was a super nice sleep. Best I’d had in a while. Perhaps I now need a grease layered sheet accompanied by the smell of rotting flesh to get a little shut eye these days. Have to get mum to redecorate my room on my return perhaps.

This has got a little long now so I shall stop here and update you all asap with another blog. A little glimpse into the future for you though. Tonight we are staying in our very first dorm. And seeing as we like to throw ourselves in the deep end from the get go, our room is a 16 bed dorm with seemingly one shower. Should be interesting.

Thanks for following x