G’day. How are we? Good I hope. I know, it’s been a while again since you lucky folk got to read up on our most recent adventures around Australia. Well you need wait no longer.

I actually write this on our very last day in Australia. I am sitting on a step with my legs dangling in a free swimming pool on Brisbane’s Southbank. The girls have gone off to try on bikinis and purchase some girl things which, unsurprisingly, I have zero interest in doing. So instead I have found a man made beach. Pretty happy with my choice right now.

We have done quite a bit since we last spoke but I was still planning on squeezing it all into one blog. The girls have put their feet down though and made me promise to split it all up to make sure I don’t miss anything. So sit back and enjoy.

So where were we? Ah yes we were leaving Surfers Paradise for Rainbow Beach where we would then be picked up for a couple days camping on near by Fraser Island. But first we would spend the night in the lovely town of Noosa.

2 hours North of Brisbane, Noosa is a small town packed with beaches. We were staying at a hostel at the top of the hill, about 10 minutes walk to the main beach. Aptly named, Main Beach. We spent a few hours here waiting until the Sun went down and watched as the surfers continued to catch their waves in front of the sunset. We hadn’t caught a full sunset in quite a while, so it was really nice to spend a little time appreciating the different colours the sky and the clouds go when the Sun dips out of view.

By the time it is was completely dark we were ready to eat. We headed off the beach and on to the main street to see if we could find a supermarket. On our journey we discovered a few people congregating around a man and his guitar. Not wanting to miss out on a congregation we quickly merged in and watched this talented fellow do his thing. He was actually really good. Not just any street busker, he had a full on set with a huge speaker and even his own stool. A true professional. As we sat watching we spotted a really cool ice cream shop where they made their produce using liquid nitrogen. Undoubtedly a small tub of this dessert was more expensive than a semi detached in Sevenoaks, but they did have a $2 treat of frozen popcorn available. Which was dreamy with a bit of salted caramel sauce dripping off it!

The next day we were moving on again. Our bus wasn’t until 4:20 in the afternoon though so we had just enough time to revisit the beach and burn the hell out of ourselves. Although we have had some pretty poor weather during our time in Australia we were really starting to top up our tans again now. The further we travelled north the warmer it was seeming to be and the fewer clouds were getting in the way. This was clearly evident in Courtney’s skin tone which was beginning to look more like she was actually travelling and a lot less like she’d been locked in windowless basement since birth.

Our bus journey would drop us off in the bustling town of Rainbow Beach. And by bustling I mean the complete opposite. It’s hard to really paint you a picture of how quiet this place is. To be fair I wouldn’t need a lot of paint. Could probably just dip the brush in once and be done. It has a shop…uhm…a petrol station. Oh and a beach of course. But that’s pretty much it. When the bus arrived it was totally dark outside. Thankfully our hostel was directly opposite the bus stop so we didn’t have far to go.

Usually I book the hostels. I say usually. I always book the hostels. But today was a day of firsts. I can’t remember exactly what point they were hoping to prove, but the girls wanted to book the Rainbow Beach hostel. Perhaps to show me that they didn’t completely rely on me to safely navigate them around the world. Which they do. Well they decided to leave it until the very same day to book somewhere for us to stay that night and unsurprisingly found very little available. In fact there was nothing available. Nothing at all. Zilch. Nada! However after a while they did come across something on a website we don’t usually use. An apartment that could take 5 people. It would be a little more than our recent rooms but we had no choice but to say yes.

Somehow it was a fantastic decision. We had landed ourselves a full on house. It had a kitchen with a working oven, a tv with sofas and a table for us to eat at. It even had a private double bedroom for Soph and I to sleep in while Courtney had a room to herself. It was awesome. So although without me I’m pretty sure the girls would still be looking for the exit at Melbourne airport, when it comes to booking a hostel, they do have some good luck. Because that’s all it was. Luck.

That evening I cooked dinner. That’s right, I do that too. On the menu tonight was a beautiful and flavoursome Italian dish I like to call pasta bolognese. It’s my very own recipe of the cheapest possible mince available mixed with some Dolmio sauce delicately displayed on a bed of own brand pasta. The sort of dish that gets passed down through generations. But we didn’t stop there. Oh no. To accompany this delight our thirst was quenched with nothing less than the very best in cloudy lemonade, followed by a dessert pure enough to tickle even the sweetest of sweet tooth. A delicious curly whirly. I’m considering bringing out a cook book when we get back to England. Keep your eye peeled for ‘Ells Does Christmas’ coming to all major book stores this holiday season.

That evening we attempted to enjoy a really good night’s sleep. A double bed, the sound of the waves washing up on the shore. It had the makings of some superb dreams. Unfortunately the boys next door had every intention of preventing us from doing just that. They thought it would be a cracking idea to run up and down banging on the front doors of each house and running away. With only three houses on the street, including their own, it didn’t take them long to get bored of this game. So instead they moved on to that old favourite, running up and down the road completely naked chasing each other around with kitchen knives. Somehow I think we must have fallen asleep because we didn’t find out the end result of that game.

The next day we woke up at our own pace before having some Nutella on toast for breakfast. When we were ready we headed out to discover what Rainbow Beach had instore for us. We carefully made our way out of our driveway, warily looking out for any chopped off willies that may have fell victim to the boys late night fun. The beach was just as vacant as the rest of the town but it stretched for as far as the eye could see. Tall cliffs over hanged the beach made up of all different types of rock. It’s these cliffs that give Rainbow Beach it’s name. The varying colours of sand seem to just stop as another one starts as if someone has literally gone along and painted them. Sure you don’t get the indigo or the red sand like you would hope to see from a place with the word rainbow in its name, but it was still good to see.

We needed to be at the hostel again for 4pm for a group chat with all the people going to Fraser Island the next day. I remember when I was little I used to love making new friends. It wouldn’t matter who it was. I could have walked in on a group of child murdering Nazis practicing their latest killing techniques and still felt comfortable asking for all their names and how long they’d been in the child cruelty business. Nowadays I cross the road whenever a group of more than two people are heading in my direction. I don’t know why. I’ve just developed a strong fear of anyone new trying to talk to me. So this 4pm talk was pretty much my worst nightmare. Over 30 people split into teams of 8 and sent off to do a group food shop before spending the next 3 days in each others pockets.

Our group was made up of me, Soph and Courtney as well as two boys from Sweden, a couple of Germans and Finish girl. All of which could speak perfect English. Thank God because I can’t speak a word of Swedish or Finish and my German can only get me as far as asking for directions to the closest pharmacy. We chatted away introducing ourselves before signing a few forms and watching a video on how to drive a 4×4 on sand. Fraser Island is home to the world’s largest stretch of sandy beach. Over 70 miles of sand surrounding dence forest with lakes and rivers untouched by humans. It is also home to a ton of wild dingos and the washed up remains of the largest luxury cruise liner before the Titanic. Thousands of backpackers travel there each year to drive around in 4 wheel drives and spend the night getting entirely intoxicated on bagged wine and sleeping in 4 man tents. People actually pay to do this.

Our first task as a group was to go shopping for the food we would be eating and the alcohol we would be consuming over the next few days. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to food shop with 8 people, but if you haven’t, it really is a true example of too may cooks spoil the broth. To be honest I’m surprised the broth even got going the first place. The girls wanted fruit and veg. The boys wanted meat. The girls wanted cerial. The boys wanted meat. It really was a battle of the sexes in the only tiny market store in Rainbow Beach. On top of this 3 other groups were in there doing exactly the same thing. Absolute pandemonium.

In the end we came to a fair compromise and got back to the hostel to chuck our produce in the fridge. It turned out we actually had a really good group. Everyone was willing to compromise when it came to food and we all just clicked without a hitch. Nobody was left out and the group was looking strong already. Perhaps I can still make friends.

We said our goodbyes for the evening before heading back to our little house. We needed to be back at reception for 7am so we were hoping the boys next door had done enough naked knife dancing for one week and headed for an early night. That or perhaps they’d learnt their lessons from the previous night and no longer had anything to chop off anyway. Either way the night passed without so much as a peep from our noisy neighbours.

Morning came and we were back in our groups ready to make our days lunch. As a group we chose ham and cheese sandwiches with a bit of lettuce and some chopped tomatoes. Some people even dabbled in a drop of mayonnaise. To save money we decided to go for the processed cheese slices rather than the block of mature cheddar. A poor choice indeed. It was then that we met our guide for the next couple of days, Danny. Danny had coolness dripping from him like sweat from a fat Australian’s armpits. If someone had told me he’d just freefalled in from a speeding jet without so much as a parachute and a blink I would have believed every word they said. Group by group he showed us around our car and explained how to drive it.

The vehicles were big. They were automatic 4.5 diesel engined beasts ready to eat up the sand like a hungry sand eating monster. The first task was to decided who was going to drive first. All three of the girls said they didn’t want to do it. Both the Swedish lads were still drunk from the night before and the two German boys just seemed to look directly at me as soon as the question was asked. So not one to shy away from a challenge I jumped in the front seat and took charge.

To aid driving on sand, quite a bit of the air was taken out of the tires. So the task of driving from the hostel to the boat was made quite difficult as it was a normal tarmac road the whole way. Once we got on to sand things became a little easier until I then had to navigate our way up a ramp and onto the moving ferry. Easy enough for a skilled driver such as myself. Once we reached Fraser Island things became ever more challenging. We travelled as a convoy a long the bumpiest makeshift road I’ve ever driven on. Swerving from the low pressured tires while still acting like a total boss with one hand on the wheel and the other arm leaning in the window frame. Turning that music up. Proper gangster like.

Our first stop was for lunch. It was here we discovered how much of an horrendous idea it was to choose the processed cheese over the block. After attempting to swallow what we could of the warm plastic like cheddar everyone from all 4 groups headed down the hill to Lake McKenzie. A beautiful lake surrounded by sand you could brush your teeth or shine up your watch with. There were no streams or rivers leading in or out of this lake, so it was filled with unsalted rain water. It had been pretty sunny up until this point but on queue the rain began to pour just as we began to jump in. But as they say, once you’re wet you’re wet.

It wasn’t long until the entire group was split in half. Some of the group were chucking a frisbee around while the other half were trying to keep a football above water. If you know me well you’ll know I’m pretty darn good at throwing a frisbee. So when a couple of the boys from another group brought their disk out to play in the lake, it was the perfect ice breaker for me. A single throw later and I was god in their eyes. Too easy. This friends making malarkey was all coming back to me. Turned out a couple of the boys came from Southampton and with me having gone to Portsmouth Uni, I had even more to talk to them about. Things were going well. However  what you would probably call the jocks of the group were playing with footy. You know, the ones with dream bodies and swooping hair. The popular kids. I still needed to brake into that group. One step at time. The girls had made good friends with the other girl in our group from Finland so we’re happily chatting away with her watching everyone play around.

By the time we arrived at our camp the rain was coming down like an English summers day. The camp site was made up of a covered area with lots of tents underneath. There was another covered area that had a few long wooden tables under it as well as a sort of kitchen type area. The showers and toilets were located further up the hill through a muddy path that was getting worse by the second due to the constant down pour. And I’ll say it again, we actually paid for this. All was ok though. Dinner was just around the corner. Unfortunately the tools weren’t available for me to conjure up on of my famous dishes, so instead sausages in a slice of bread were special of the day. I think the girls even got a dash of salad to go with it.

The night would be a blast. But I shall stop there and carry on with the next blog so things don’t get too out of hand.

Thanks for following x